Little Timmy's Bicycle was born on November 25th, 2020. He was a cute little picture book with brightly coloured pages. He had a beautiful cover that was drawn with love and care. Unlike most picture books that came before him, he was a digital book because he was born at a time when print books just weren't fashionable anymore. His author's name was Flynn Finnie, or at least that was what it said on the cover.
Lil' Timmy was a happy little book because he had a noble purpose: to bring joy to toddlers and children all around the world. He was very excited to start his new life. He couldn't wait to see the happy smiles on the faces of the children he would meet. He wondered how many little friends he would get to know the course of his life (and since he was a digital book, his author promised him that he would live on forever).
“Millions!” His author promised him. “You will meet millions and millions of little children, and they will be so happy to get to know you. They will absolutely adore you. You will become their most cherished childhood memory.”
Lil' Timmy believed every word of what Flynn Finnie said because Flynn Finnie was a good and kindly man, and a caring, loving author to boot. Flynn Finnie loved Lil' Timmy, and Lil' Timmy loved his author. They had a noble purpose together, and together, they would bring joy to the world.
On the first day of Lil' Timmy's life, he didn't meet any children, and he started to worry. Flynn told him, “I haven't started my marketing campaign yet. Once I get that going, you are going to make little children all around the world so very happy!” And so Flynn spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on advertising. “As soon as they see your beautiful cover, parents just won't be able to resist buying you,” Flynn said.
And so Lil' Timmy waited and waited and waited for the very first child he'll get to meet. After ten long days, Lil' Timmy still hadn't made a single friend. At least he had Flynn to keep him company.
“Don't worry,” said Flynn, “what we need is to spend even more money on advertising. I know: I'll pay to have a famous YouTuber endorse us!”
That was a brilliant idea. Lil' Timmy was so lucky to have an author who was willing to spend so much money, love and care on him. Lil' Timmy loved Flynn very much. Even though Lil' Timmy hadn't made any friends yet, as long as he had Flynn, he would be happy.
Thirty days and thousands of dollars later, Lil' Timmy finally got to meet his very first friend! His friend's name was Jimmy. Lil' Timmy was so excited. He'd been waiting so long for this moment, and now was his time to shine.
One night, just before Jimmy's bedtime, Jimmy's father opened Lil' Timmy up on the I-Pad. Lil' Timmy felt very nervous. In fact, he had butterflies in his digital stomach. What if Jimmy didn't like him? What if Jimmy never wanted to see Lil' Timmy ever again?
Lil' Timmy pushed these negative thoughts out of his head, put on his bravest smile and delivered the best story he could possibly deliver. Lil' Timmy proudly displayed his bright pictures, and he spoke each and every word of the story with confidence. He even acted out the scenes to bring them to life. It was all going so well.
Jimmy yawned and went to sleep before his father got through even half of what Lil' Timmy had to offer, but that was alright. Lil' Timmy could always pick up where they had left off the next night. And then the next night came, and Lil' Timmy was so very excited to continue the story.
Jimmy's father pulled out the I-Pad, opened up to the page where they had left off, and then... Jimmy said to his father, “This is boring. I want a different story.”
Lil' Timmy's worst fear had come true. Jimmy didn't like him. But why? Lil' Timmy had done everything right. He had a beautiful cover. All his pages had bright, happy colours. He couldn't understand why he had failed.
So one day, Lil' Timmy asked Flynn why Jimmy didn't like him. Flynn replied, “Because you're shit. That's why!”
Timmy was stunned. Why would his author say such a hurtful thing? “But father, don't you love me?”
“You have brought me nothing but financial ruin,” Flynn said, breath heavy with alcohol. “A waste of my time. I don't ever want to see you again.”
“Father, don't say that. You're the only one who's ever loved me. If you leave me, I'll be alone forever.” But Timmy's plea fell on deaf ears. He never saw Flynn ever again.
Over the next twenty years, Timmy waited in his lonely corner of the internet, wishing, hoping, praying for someone – anyone to talk to. But no one came. No one would even look at him. His hopes and dreams of bringing joy to little children, the promise that he'd be loved by millions all across the world – it was all lies. As untrue as Flynn's love for him. It was clear now that Flynn loved only one thing: making money.
Timmy was a fool for believing in Flynn's lies. He was a fool for deluding himself into thinking anyone could love him. Not even his own father loved him.
For twenty years, Timmy wallowed in misery and crushing loneliness. He no longer wished to talk to anyone. He had accepted long ago it would never happen. Now, he wished only to die. But he was a digital book. He couldn't die... until one day, everything went dark.
November 25th, 2287,
Johnston fired up the ancient server farm, hooked up his smart-visor and sifted through the database. It contained millions upon millions of books that had been uploaded since the dawn of the digital age. Though he had more pressing matters to attend to, morbid curiosity compelled him to randomly pick a book and open it. It was a brightly coloured picture book with a red bicycle painted on the cover. “Little Timmy's Bicycle. Heh.” He flipped through the digital pages. The artwork was mediocre. The story was lame, even for a children's book. He promptly swiped the book aside and got down to business.
He wrote a short script that would wipe the database clean. He needed the storage space, ancient as it was, because working computers were a rarity in the post-apocalypse.
For a brief second, he hesitated, his finger hovering just above the virtual 'enter' key. He was about to wipe clean the only known server that contained several decades' worth of literature from a long lost era. Each and every book that had been uploaded into the server had been crafted with love and care. The authors had poured days, months and perhaps years of their lives breathing life to their ideas. All of it was about to be wiped clean with a single push of a virtual button.
Then again, most the books were probably crap anyway, just like that lame picture book. With an indifferent shrug, Johnston hit the 'enter' key, thus erasing five hundred and thirty two million, three hundred and fifty thousand, two hundred and twelve books from existence.
Nobody missed that they were gone.
Moral of the story: READ MY FUCKING BOOK - IT'S FREE! HERE'S THE LINK:
I SWEAR IF THAT BOOK DON'T SELL I'M GONNA ABANDON IT LIKE FLYNN ABANDONED LITTLE-FUCKING-TIMMY.
TO THOSE WHO LIKED THIS POST, DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN READ MY BLOGS ALL THE WAY TO COMPLETION? BECAUSE IF YOU ACTUALLY DID READ TO THIS POINT, DO NOT BE ALARMED. THIS IS ONLY A TEST. THIS CRAZY BLURB AT THE END IS TO DESIGNED TO PROVOKE A REACTION IN THE COMMENT SECTION, WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN KNOW YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS SHIT.
Michael E Vigil.