The 68

Hey, remember when Republicans used to care about small government? That was a super awesome fun time, wasn’t it, gang? They were tight with a buck, fiscally responsible and generally prattled on about things like ‘individual responsibility’ and ‘pulling yourself up by your bootstraps’ and ‘the government shouldn’t do for you what you can do yourself.’ I could deal with those Republicans. I could tolerate those Republicans. I probably wouldn’t vote for them that much, but in a world where one party (at the time) had never met a government regulation or large unwieldy bureaucracy that they didn’t just love, I was largely okay with one party out of the two we’re stuck with being like, ‘hey, wait a minute?’

But the world turns, times changes and it turns out Republicans didn’t mean any of that at all. 

To combat a plague of pornography allegedly afflicting our schools, they passed Senate File 496, which banned books depicting sexual acts from school libraries. The act, to the best of my knowledge, didn’t require that people objecting to books actually live in your district or even the state of Iowa. It didn’t require them to put down their actual name and address either. Nor did it require schools to publish how many times these allegedly objectionable books had been checked out- because if it had done of that, we would see that it’s not the kids that have the problem with these books- it’s the adults- some of whom might not even live here in Iowa.

What really ticks me off about this though, is that it’s being done cloaked in the guise of ‘parental rights’ which is an absolute crock of hog shit. As a parent, it’s my job to monitor the content my children consume and when the government decides it needs to do that for me, it takes away my rights as a parent and doesn’t increase them.

To add to this three tiered cake of shit, State Rep. Cindy Golding warmed up a crowd at a recent Trump rally by claiming “There is no such thing as book banning in Iowa,” which such a blatantly obvious lie, I’m honestly surprised her pants didn’t spontaneous combust right there on stage. Oh, there’s no such thing as book-banning in Iowa? I guess the 68 books the local school district are removing from their shelves are just acts of random happenstance, huh?

I’m not going to do a complete breakdown of The 68. It’s depressing enough as it is, but some of these books we’ve got to talk about. To be clear, I don’t think any of these should be removed. I am against censorship and book banning in all their forms, but I’m also a parent and there are a couple of these that definitely make me raise an eyebrow.

It by Stephen King: I’ve never read it, but the internet informs me that at some point all the children have sex with each other, for… reasons? (But it’s also 1,138 pages long, so if your kid wants to read it and does so successfully, that’s probably worth celebrating, to me.)

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher: suicide prevention experts hate the show and it’s release seems to have been associated with an increase in the suicide rate, so I could understand some caution with this book. Not saying it should be banned, but I can understand some caution associated with this book. (This is why data on how often a book is checked out would be useful to know as well.)

Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult: this isn’t just a popular one here in Iowa, it seems to be getting banned everywhere these days. I’m going to file this under ‘nervous school districts’- and I get it- it’s about a school shooter- and say that it too, shouldn’t be banned.

Sold, Patricia McCormick: I actually stumbled across a TikTok ranting about this book so looked into a little bit. Should your fifth grader be reading this? Probably not by themselves- but McCormick based this on actual research she did on child brides/prostitution in South Asia and while it’s an understandable urge to want to shield children from the ugliness of the world, it also does them no favors. The world isn’t always pretty- especially for kids.

In the, “if you want kids to actually read books, you should probably give them books they can relate to” category: Looking for Alaska by John Green, Perks of Being A Wallflower by Steven Chbosky and Forever by Judy Blume. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we need to hold the line of Judy Blume now and forever otherwise they’re going to come for Beverly Cleary next. As for the other two, if you think not reading those books will prevent your teenagers from doing horny teenage things and they’ve got iPhones with access to the internet, you need to reassess your parenting priorities.

In the, “man, these people hate Sarah J. Maas” category: Well, if you’ve convinced me to read some of her books, imagine how many teenagers you’ve convinced to do the same thing. Good job.

In the “good writing belongs in schools, so shut up” category: Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (absolutely gorgeous novel, everybody should read it and if you’re naive enough to think that Achilles and Patroclus were just ‘best buds’ then I don’t know what to tell you), Stardust by Neil Gaiman (come on, now. Neil Gaiman?), A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley (anyone who graduated from and taught at an Iowa University and won a Pulitzer Prize should never be banned from our schools) and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. 

In the, “if they’re reading enough to read these, let ‘em” category: Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson (but curiously, not the rest of the series) and Y: The Last Man by Brian Vaughn– a well-written, dystopian graphic novel that does show some boobs, so we can’t have that, apparently.

The final category are what I would call the most egregious ‘WTF’ examples from the list:

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: I freely admit that I did not connect with this book in American Literature my junior year. I also attempted to bullshit my way through a lit review about it and got the worst grade I’ve ever received in an English class that trimester for my troubles. This book won the 1983 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the National Book Award. Does it deal with some heavy shit? It sure does. It was taught in our schools not that long ago and should continue to be taught in our schools. Shielding children from the ugliness of the world doesn’t actually prevent any of it from happening.

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison: She won the Nobel Prize for Literature. We are a City of Literature. Put this book back on the shelves.

Ulysses by James Joyce: It’s 732 pages long and if any student anywhere reads it, understands it and can demonstrate that, we should throw them a damn parade. 

Can We Talk About Consent by Justin Hancock: There’s absolutely NO REASON for kids to read a book with this title, is there? No reason at all! Can’t think of why this isn’t an important lesson for our students to learn… I’m scratching my head. 

The Rape of Nanking by Iris Chang: I didn’t catch this one when I first scanned the list, but this is such a horrifying inclusion I might actually go to the next school board meeting and raise some heck about this. Fiction books are one thing. Non-fiction books that deal with sex and sexuality I may not agree with banning them but I can see why people shout about them, but this… This is about an actual atrocity in World War II that not enough people know about to begin with and the Japanese Government has never apologized for. Books are one thing, but when we start talking history out of school we really need to reassess what we’re doing with all of this.

Vote. Learn the rules, register and vote. Vote in every single election you can. Make your voice heard. Do not fall down rabbit holes of Facebook comments or Reddit rants. Do not give into despair. Not everyone can afford to leave and not everyone should leave. This is our state, these are our schools and the louder we shout and the more we vote, the message will be sent: we object, we stand against censorship, we stand with the 68.