KILLME

The Root of Depression and the End of Pain. 

A suicidal true story

I have always believed pain was just a feeling, a sensation or reaction to physical inflammation in the body. My caregivers never really talked about emotional pain. The reason people choose to commit suicide is to end the pain, a pain that for them never ceases to hurt. 

For the following story I collected a number of situations most likely to provoke thoughts of hopefulness and which has subsequently driven some of the people I have met in the past, to submerge into depression or experience a permanent state of pain.   

The following quotes I took from other people's experience and some are of my own:

- " You have been using me, abusing my life and time, made fun of my faith, enslaved me, turned family and friends against me, neglected me, ignored me" - But would you care to feel the pain?

- " You neglected my family's basic needs, separated me from those I love and from those who needed me the most "  - Would you care to feel?

- " You broke in my bank account, limited my financial progress, my sovereign rights, used my identity to contract debts, to gain more and later made false accusations against me "  - Would you care to feel? 

- " You left me heartless, homeless, dependable and exposed to more people like you. And you just don't get it, so you put the blame on me to tax my growing pain "

People's pain have a root cause: Their thoughts. But we all fail to understand that we cannot change the order of the events that caused a person to develop a painful thought. Unless, we delete  a memory. But we all know this is not possible. Sometimes is easier to delete ourselves than erase memories.  Bitterness ends when we add sweetness, something or someone that help us ease the pain; but sometimes we just don't get that lucky, so suicide sounds like the choice or a plan. 

- "Getting help after we're broken doesn't cure the pain. Pills don't cure the pain, but numb me with your drugs and legal aids.  The alcohol, the weed, the heroin and the amphetamine are my basic needs, as they all sooth my pain.  

- "I see monsters in every corner, everyone tells me they aren't real, but men those are very real to me" 

No matter how much you want to save  a suicidal person using drugs and therapy, it just doesn't work, if the victim losses hope, it's over. 

Emotional neglect is an important and deleterious component of maltreatment experiences and may be a powerful predictor of suicidal behavior in bullied adolescents.  People that have been through physical abuse, emotional abuse, and physical neglect are at high risk of suicide or even worst,  perfect sociopaths and sociopaths, that hide their emotions as an expression to cover the pain.  Then they take on a victim to endorse the pain. 

Hopelessness is when pain continues and the person think it will never stop hurting, because they believe their actual situation will never change. 

Freedom Slot!

Say no more, cry no more, just go crazy in the head, -- I might be rewarded with perks from our social zoo.  Otherwise, delete my existence, as I will no longer convene to your tyranny-- 

It's funny, but no one ever talks about why smart people commit suicide. Nope, no one. - That's just a Rock Star thing famous people do to encounter Nirvana, and a place no one knows about-   

We have all seen how depression alone is so much easier to treat. Regardless the brain's chemical imbalances, treating the cause of it requires love and respect, - You hear me !! LOVE and RESPECT and that just seems a little too hard to achieve, cause we can't buy that, right? like we do with drugs and pain killers.

The Bullies are in The House

Rejection hurts and the art of rejecting is a blissful moment for every natural bully.  Some people pride in rejecting a non wanted person as a way to "protect" themselves;  because; is a more acceptable way to hate (the absolute contrary of love). We are stereotyped to believe hate is stronger than love, and that loving is for weak people, so we don't practice that; I maen, - " No one wants to be weak " 

I am allowed to feel the pain of hatred 

The best way to hate someone is by shadowing them, ignoring them until they are forgotten. Indeed a better weapon than a gun, so much better. You want the gun gone, but not the people that have weaponized the world with thoughts of rejections and hatred. So you think you are doing good by banning the gun.  Living weapons exist and these are part of our everyday life among the racial, cultural and political wagon we ride every day. Just waiting to see those who need love vanishing at our feet: The suicidal gate is open 24/7

- You think you are doing the right thing to make the world a better place if we all get rid of guns, right?  So you want to win this fight. What about knives, and blades and drugs and needles and fire and all the massive nuclear weapons for destructions that have killed so many innocent people? 

 I have met bullies by the dozen when I lived in the concrete streets of my endless hell. Groomed good looking bullies proud of their commitment to save the world and the lives of many. - " At least they are trying!" 

 Everyone looks so naked when you are the one on the other side of the reality they live. Like an expectator; egoless and non existent.  So unaware they are been looked at, so raw and so exposed they glance into a  mirror, and what they see is just their "own" reflection and no one else's. 

The Commitment and the Pray

- " You preach a fake love because you are incapable of feeling. and then talk down on suicidal people, or worst, feel sorry and pity them. You can talk all you want about awareness and all the crap sharing about illness awareness " Who needs a gun, when we have ourselves to hate and drive the "weak" into suicide.

- " A life is sacrificed because a suicidal can't commit to the God you worship"  When you are done, you can rejoice in the devil's den and life continues, so carry on.   

Are we really into suicidal awareness or is this just another Hashtag? 

Did you know that the people that are more inclined of commiting suicide are those who suffer from rejection, neglect and abuse during their childhood and teenage years? 

Men commit more suicides than women according to The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. Maybe because they have more access to guns than women do! Think of all the soldiers that have commited suicide due to trauma.  Women might not be so into guns like men, but now is a growing trend among women too. 

More than 40.000 suicides occur within a year only in U.S.A. Add this to the amount in the rest of America. 

51% of suicides are by guns. That is not very profitable, isn't it? Imagine all the anti depression meds our society could have sold!  Can't think of any other reason to ban guns. Sorry. 

Social rejections to certain groups like Amerindians, Immigrants, elderly groups have been documented. Younger groups are specially affected.  Low income people struggling, has also being link to stress, trauma and depression. 

Let us not forget what we fight for, even if it's with or without guns. " Is there anybody in there?" Just a Pink Floyd line of pain emotion; something real.    Our social political system can kill people; Recent international news registered 786 suicides occurred only in one month in socialist/communist country of Venezuela. People in social stress commit suicide, and the tyranny (the powerful) certainly drives people to hopelessness. The whole world can ignore a little country needing help from everyone that can put an end to the tyranny.  Fight after fight, gun shot after gunshot and the hopelessness continues for so many people that mass suicide could set them free. 

Joseph Stalin's quote—“a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic—

If we want to beat the escalating depression and consequently all the deaths, we must stick to the idea contrary to what Stalin said. Believe millions can be saved if millions are seen as valuable, are respected and  not ignored. Isn't it sad to see we care little about masses? but we love and even cry for if our favorite movie star dies. We are so unreal. 

- " My mother was a tyrant" I grew up hating her, and later I realized I was hating all the women around me . Lest not forget we are all the same inside. There is no different needs, we all have the same needs for love, respect and consideration. I never said the same car, house or same buggi look, I said we are all the same! and we are not the things we have, ok?  But I am sure many want more the easy way. 

If today's numbers of suicides doesn't ring a bell to the world, then their own experience will. Stop #hashtag #suicideawareness if you are not ready to change to #kindness mode with #zerotolerance. 

Special thanks to Edu Lauton from Unsplash

#remembranceday #depression #suicide #suicideawareness