The good ol days

How do we go back to boys being as respected as girls? How do we get back to understanding that boys are not girls and girls are not boys? I'm not even talking in a transgender since either.

Well for starters we need to understand that boys are NOT defective girls. Boys are hyperactive littles, they are wild, loud, messy and active little shits. I say this as the loving mother of one such little boy. We have to understand that these boys at a young age are going to act and learn differently than girls. Girls can learn in a calm quite environment but boys like to be hands on. They learn better as they are being active and spilling out all of that energy. So when it comes to traditional learning we should have separate classes or schools for boys and girls (not just private schools either). We shouldn't make a fish climb a tree just because a monkey can.

We need our boys and our girls to both understand the process and benefits of courtship as well as respect for their bodies and that of the person they are courting. For many years (8 to be exact) I was a feminist. I believed that no one had the right to tell me who I can and can't have sex with. My parents both told me of their "fun times" and of their sexual experiences. I was never taught how a woman should be courted and how the relationship should be as well as the intercourse. I was taught sex leads to babies and of the STDs but nothing much else. It wasn't until I was 20 and states away from my home town that I found what it should be. 

The first time I met my husband he was showing me off to his friends (he took a pic) and when I took it to see I played keep away, that was the moment that led to our first kiss. Our first date was to see the Carrie remake dinner and after ice cream. He left me with the remnants of his kiss and made sure I made it in. A few days later I tried to talk him into having sex with me. To my shock he said no. It wasn't until after our 3rd date that it happened. By then we had been together for about 3-4 months. I had never been told no before so it blew my mind. I'm not a bad looking woman and boys only wanted one thing... Right? So why was I told no? I later realized that it was out of respect for both of us. Not only did it give us more time to know one another but when we finally did it was amazing. 2 months after we were engaged and married that August (a full 10 months after meeting) and next month we will be together for 6 years.

My point behind that story was he took the time to get to know me before knowing my body we had a relationship based off of laughing from jokes tears of talking of our past anger as we figured how to talk and deal with one another and a love that grew before ever having sex. We did it because of love not because of a want. That is the type of men we need to raise and we need to raise our girls the exact opposite way of how girls like me were raised.

Girls are told that they can have sex with whoever and if they don't like the outcome (babies) to "deal" with the "problem". If we raise our girls to be more conservative of their bodies and show them that sex is something special (as well as their virginity) we will have less regret of who they slept with less "rape" accusations and less unwanted pregnancies which will mean less abortions. I personally wish I had saved myself for my husband and that he had been my first. I did however get lucky that he is the only man to ever make me a mother. Lord knows it could have been worse than what it was.

We need to go back to courting and respecting our bodies. Show them that taking things slow will win them a great prize in the end. A beautiful family with people who will love them for them not for what they have.

Once we show our boys how a woman should be respected and our girls how to give a man something to respect we will see how well we can work together in our own genders. It is showing them that we are not equals but rather two parts of a whole. 

#Nurture #boys #mypost #makeboysrespectedagain #makegirlsrespectfulagain