Prey Movie Review

So... I just watched the new Predator movie, Prey. 

Let's get this out of the way right off. It was better than The Predator 2018, however that's a really, really low bar to beat. It's better, as in, I did not facepalm so often that I had a welt on my forehead and a headache by the end of the movie. Also, there was about 97.3% less shouting obscenities at the nonsense on screen this time around. Just a few muttered what the f*cks under my breath. So... I mean... there's that... 

The main problem I had, as I expected going in, was the casting and the writing. Don't get me wrong, the actress they cast as the lead did a good job with the script handed her, but she's about 5'5 and a hundred or so pounds. At one point, she takes out like five dudes twice her size in hand-to-hand combat without breaking a sweat, which always just makes me roll my eyes. Also, without spoilers, by my count the 8 foot tall 400 lb Intergalactic Murder Machine should have broken the lead actress's everything at least four or five times in the climatic final battle alone. Seriously. I mean, granted at 6'3 and 250 lbs I'm not exactly a small man, but her arms look about as big around as my forearms. She's way too slender for the role. 

And then there's the writing.... Every single male character is some variation of piece of sh*t except the main character's brother. He is not a piece of sh*t because he seems to exist primarily just to emotionally validate the lead character in every scene he's in. About midway through the movie, some French trappers turn up, mainly to up the body count and be psychopathic as*hats for little to no reason beyond white people seem to have to be depicted in the worst light possible at all times. The French guys are introduced when the lead character gets her leg caught in one of their traps while running away from the Predator. And what do they do? Again, trying to avoid spoilers, but it's pretty much the exact opposite of what you'd expect from a group of actual human people who find an injured sixteen year old girl in the woods. Also, for some reason there are no subtitles when the French guys are talking and some parts where the characters speak in what I'm assuming is Cherokee, which gets kind of annoying. Minor gripe.

All that said, the action scenes were actually pretty good. Janky Shaky Cam is more or less in effect and the camera rarely lingers on anything long enough for you to follow the action in a coherent manner, but that's more or less par for the course these days. I didn't really care for the new Predator design that much either. I laughed the first time I saw it because all I could think of was how it looked like it had a headcrab from Halflife. The new Predator gadgets were also kind of hit or miss for me as well. One seemed specifically designed to have an easily exploitable weakness that a protagonist could use in a climatic final battle that is not at all stupid as heck and potentially dangerous and should have never left the R&D lab. You'll see what I mean. 

Anyway, where do I put it? Out of the four Predator movies (NO, 2018 DOES NOT COUNT), I'd probably put it somewhere near the bottom of the list. It's watchable, but I'm not sure if I like it anymore or less than Predators. There was a lot of eyerolling and jaw clenching on my part through this one. Maybe on second viewing I'll change my mind. It took me a couple viewings to admit that Predators was at least pretty good. It certainly does less damage to the lore of the franchise than That Thing Which Shall Not Be Named did, at any rate. If you're a fan of the comics, you'll know exactly what I mean when you see it. 

I'd still like my movie adaptation of the Predator: Cold War story arc, though.