DEFEATED DEPRESSIVE SYNDROME (DDS) ((( If You Know Someone Suffering From DDS; Please Call The Hotline Immediately ))) ========by Bullhorn Barry (Satire) Defeated Depressive Syndrome (DDS), is a virus that is currently sweeping the United States. It is a virus that directly affects the MIND. Once the virus goes active, it takes the MIND to the outer limits of lunacy. At this point, it seems to only infect people with a far left ideology. Scientists are baffled as to why the virus only affects those on the far left, but what we do know, is that DDS generally infects someone after they've faced numerous crushing defeats. Usually those crushing defeats come immediately following a heightened sense of optimism and overconfidence, which invariably makes their defeats - utterly crushing. Symptoms are as follows: *Wild and crazy glazed over look in their eyes. / *Extreme Narcissism / *Uncontrollable Anger / *Tends to believe in wild conspiracies of Russia Collusion / *Finds it difficult to speak the truth and tells tales and deceitful lies / *Finds pleasure in all things death and darkness / *Loves to virtue signal / *Can't stand the sight of President Trump or to hear the sound of his name. / *They enjoy finding ways to deflect their depravity off of themselves by projecting it onto others. / *Infected may exhibit Insane levels of hypocrisy / *In complete denial over their hate, intolerance and anger. / *Drooling and frothing of the mouth / *Skin may sometimes turn green. (for a complete list of symptoms go to DDS/gethelpnow18973580.com) Hotlines are now being made available for all of those suffering from DDS. That Toll Free Number is: 1-555-CRUSHED. The CDC believes that as many as 35 Million People may be suffering from this crushing disease. The CDC has developed a vaccination that has been proven to be 100% effective but at this time no one has been willing to take the vaccination. The vaccination uses nano-technology to re-stimulate the portion of the brain t...