WASHINGTON, D.C. - After the earth-shattering success of Olivia Rodrigo's White House vaccine promotion, Biden has announced he will be inviting teen pop sensation and performer of 'MMMBop', Hanson.'I'll tell you what, those three young ladies with the long hair might be even prettier than that Oliv...
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NEW YORK, NY - Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world’s smartest socialist, is always talking about the evils of capitalism. Now tragedy has struck her with what she sees as a clear failure of that economic system: She has accidentally super-glued her face to her coffee table.'See what c...
babylonbee.com
TOKYO - People were stunned after the U.S. women's soccer team lost to Sweden in the Olympics this week by a score of 3-0 - until the team revealed they are boycotting scoring any goals until racism is defeated.'Yeah, we didn't score any goals against Sweden last night, but that was totally on purpo...
babylonbee.com
HOUSTON, TX - Portfolio diversification: It’s a basic principle of investing. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they’re supposed to put all their treasure in Heaven, which simply is not smart investing. Pastor Joel Osteen, though, is promoting a stronger portfolio.'Treasure in Heaven is pretty ...
babylonbee.com
NEW YORK, NY - Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world’s smartest socialist, is always talking about the evils of capitalism. Now tragedy has struck her with what she sees as a clear failure of that economic system: She has accidentally super-glued her face to her coffee table.'See what c...
babylonbee.com
TOKYO - People were stunned after the U.S. women's soccer team lost to Sweden in the Olympics this week by a score of 3-0 - until the team revealed they are boycotting scoring any goals until racism is defeated.'Yeah, we didn't score any goals against Sweden last night, but that was totally on purpo...
babylonbee.com
HOUSTON, TX - Portfolio diversification: It’s a basic principle of investing. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they’re supposed to put all their treasure in Heaven, which simply is not smart investing. Pastor Joel Osteen, though, is promoting a stronger portfolio.'Treasure in Heaven is pretty ...
babylonbee.com