Who would have thought that Monty Python all those years ago accurately predicted the new and inclusive US Military. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qxs3gmewuhI
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More from Mivoyses

Wanted Our city was split right down the middle by a major interstate highway. This meant we got to patrol the highway. Around 0330AM one night I was heading northbound on the interstate when a Harley type motorcycle passed me swerving very badly. Great, I thought, a DUI biker. Pulling in behind him I realized that he was taking the next off ramp. I had not yet activated my lights to pull him over but I followed him onto the off ramp slowing gradually behind him as we approached the red light. We get to the stop bar at the red light and in seemingly slow motion the biker just falls over, motorcycle and all. Sigh. I turn on my overheads and put the car in park. Next I call dispatch with my location, the vehicle and driver description and tag number. Then I get out and walk up to the biker still lying on the ground with his bike half on him. Looking down at him I ask if he’s ok, to which he laughs and says yeah, he’s fine. We get the bike off him and roll it to the side of the road and I ask him for his license. He hands me his license and says he’s going to sit by his bike. I say that’s probably a good idea. He staggers over to it, sits on the guard rail and proceeds to pass out, slowly sliding to the ground where he starts snoring rather loudly. About this time dispatch gets me on the radio asking if I can go 10-12x (out of earshot of whoever I am with.) I reply back telling them to go ahead. Dispatch advises me that the subject that I am out with is wanted on 3 felony warrants out of Texas, 2 for murder and 1 for attempted murder on a law enforcement officer. They also advised that they had 3 units rolling to my location for back up. I looked over at the biker passed out near the guard rail, chuckled to myself, and told dispatch that the units didn’t have to rush. Long story short, the warrants were valid. It was the guy. And he slept through being cuffed, transported, and processed. See, bad things happen when you drink too much.

43 views · Jun 22nd

It's 0327. I should be sleeping. But that's just not happening. I was going to post another installment from my book later on. I suppose I might as well go ahead and do it now. Enjoy. ____________ Praise Jesus On midnight shift you should be aware of and look for drivers on the road who are DUI. At the very least you will stumble without even trying across one or two. Which is what happened to me one night. It was late, around 4AM as I recall. I was driving down one of the main streets checking parking lots and store fronts when I observed a car parked in a business lot that had not been there 40 minutes earlier. So into the parking lot I go parking off to the side of the vehicle about 100 feet away. As I walk up to the car I don’t see anyone inside and all the windows are intact. Hmmm, ok, I turn on my flashlight. Low and behold laying back in the front driver’s seat was the driver, a black male in his early 20’s. Knocking on the driver’s window I woke him up. He gets out, and we chat. He seems like a nice guy. He admitted to being drunk. He even said he had pulled over rather than continue driving. Ok, cool guy. On the spot I decided that I wasn’t going to take him for DUI. Why you ask? Because he tried to do the right thing. No sense in penalizing him for it. But, what to do with him? Well, I can’t leave him there. The car sure, but I can’t leave him there to sleep it off. He could get hurt or robbed, car-jacked even. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods. Not good. So we chat further and I ask if there is someone who can come get him. Nope, he says. Everyone is busy or asleep and his Mother is at an all night revival at her church. Seeing an option I ask him where this church is that his Mother is attending. He tells me the address. Cool, it’s only a few blocks away in the middle of the “quarters”. So I load him up in the back of my patrol car and notify dispatch that I have a passenger and where we’re going. On the way he and I chat. He’s thanking me for not taking him to jail. I explain to him that it’s not always about just taking people to jail. It’s about helping and solving problems. Well, we get to the church and park. I tell him to just sit tight while I go get his Mom. I walk up to the church and you can hear the revival going full steam inside. I open the door and take a few steps inside and wait. After a few moments the Pastor saw me and interrupted the congregation from their devotions. He says, “Officer, is there something we can help you with?” No one had known that I was there except the Pastor. So everyone in the church turns around and stares at me. A white police officer standing in a packed black Baptist church. You could have heard a pin drop. I cleared my throat and asked if a Mrs. “so and so” was there. Suddenly from the front of the church came a loud wail. A short, rather round, very over dressed older black lady just cries out, “Oh Lordy Jesus. The police are here to tell me my baby’s dead.” I cleared my throat again and told her no, everything is fine. That I just wanted her to step outside with me for a few minutes so that I could talk to her about her son. Well, that went over even worse and she continued wailing. About that time the Pastor came over and asked me what was going on. I explained to him that I had found her son passed out in his car. That I could have taken him for DUI, but that he seemed like a good guy and I just wanted to get him to someone who could take care of him. The Pastor understood and he explained this to the Mother, who at this time was surrounded by several of her friends. (All equally short, round and over dressed) After a few moments the Pastor seemed to have finally gotten through to her so we went outside where I told them to wait while I got her son from my car. Walking to my car I could see the guy in the back of my car. Based on the look on his face I think he was having second thoughts about being dropped off here. I get him out of the car and he tells me that I can take him to jail. “Oh no,” I say, “we’ve come this far. You’ll be fine.” We walk over to his Mother where she is standing with the Pastor and her friends. I thank them for their help and exit stage left. Instantly the guy was surrounded by his Mother, her friends, and the Pastor and they began praying over him, saying that they needed to drive the devil from him for doing such a horrible thing. The last thing I saw as I drove away was him looking longingly at my patrol car as he was escorted into the church. Epilogue: You don’t always have to take people to jail. As I’ve said before, being a cop is about helping people and solving problems. I made a big impression on the guy (even though he ended up having second thoughts), the Pastor, the Mom, her friends, and the whole congregation. They even started contacting me with problems and issues as well as passing information to me about dealers and crimes that were being committed. So ultimately it all worked out. Although to be honest, I did feel kind of bad for the guy knowing what he was in for.

35 views · Jun 21st

More from Mivoyses

Wanted Our city was split right down the middle by a major interstate highway. This meant we got to patrol the highway. Around 0330AM one night I was heading northbound on the interstate when a Harley type motorcycle passed me swerving very badly. Great, I thought, a DUI biker. Pulling in behind him I realized that he was taking the next off ramp. I had not yet activated my lights to pull him over but I followed him onto the off ramp slowing gradually behind him as we approached the red light. We get to the stop bar at the red light and in seemingly slow motion the biker just falls over, motorcycle and all. Sigh. I turn on my overheads and put the car in park. Next I call dispatch with my location, the vehicle and driver description and tag number. Then I get out and walk up to the biker still lying on the ground with his bike half on him. Looking down at him I ask if he’s ok, to which he laughs and says yeah, he’s fine. We get the bike off him and roll it to the side of the road and I ask him for his license. He hands me his license and says he’s going to sit by his bike. I say that’s probably a good idea. He staggers over to it, sits on the guard rail and proceeds to pass out, slowly sliding to the ground where he starts snoring rather loudly. About this time dispatch gets me on the radio asking if I can go 10-12x (out of earshot of whoever I am with.) I reply back telling them to go ahead. Dispatch advises me that the subject that I am out with is wanted on 3 felony warrants out of Texas, 2 for murder and 1 for attempted murder on a law enforcement officer. They also advised that they had 3 units rolling to my location for back up. I looked over at the biker passed out near the guard rail, chuckled to myself, and told dispatch that the units didn’t have to rush. Long story short, the warrants were valid. It was the guy. And he slept through being cuffed, transported, and processed. See, bad things happen when you drink too much.

43 views · Jun 22nd

It's 0327. I should be sleeping. But that's just not happening. I was going to post another installment from my book later on. I suppose I might as well go ahead and do it now. Enjoy. ____________ Praise Jesus On midnight shift you should be aware of and look for drivers on the road who are DUI. At the very least you will stumble without even trying across one or two. Which is what happened to me one night. It was late, around 4AM as I recall. I was driving down one of the main streets checking parking lots and store fronts when I observed a car parked in a business lot that had not been there 40 minutes earlier. So into the parking lot I go parking off to the side of the vehicle about 100 feet away. As I walk up to the car I don’t see anyone inside and all the windows are intact. Hmmm, ok, I turn on my flashlight. Low and behold laying back in the front driver’s seat was the driver, a black male in his early 20’s. Knocking on the driver’s window I woke him up. He gets out, and we chat. He seems like a nice guy. He admitted to being drunk. He even said he had pulled over rather than continue driving. Ok, cool guy. On the spot I decided that I wasn’t going to take him for DUI. Why you ask? Because he tried to do the right thing. No sense in penalizing him for it. But, what to do with him? Well, I can’t leave him there. The car sure, but I can’t leave him there to sleep it off. He could get hurt or robbed, car-jacked even. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods. Not good. So we chat further and I ask if there is someone who can come get him. Nope, he says. Everyone is busy or asleep and his Mother is at an all night revival at her church. Seeing an option I ask him where this church is that his Mother is attending. He tells me the address. Cool, it’s only a few blocks away in the middle of the “quarters”. So I load him up in the back of my patrol car and notify dispatch that I have a passenger and where we’re going. On the way he and I chat. He’s thanking me for not taking him to jail. I explain to him that it’s not always about just taking people to jail. It’s about helping and solving problems. Well, we get to the church and park. I tell him to just sit tight while I go get his Mom. I walk up to the church and you can hear the revival going full steam inside. I open the door and take a few steps inside and wait. After a few moments the Pastor saw me and interrupted the congregation from their devotions. He says, “Officer, is there something we can help you with?” No one had known that I was there except the Pastor. So everyone in the church turns around and stares at me. A white police officer standing in a packed black Baptist church. You could have heard a pin drop. I cleared my throat and asked if a Mrs. “so and so” was there. Suddenly from the front of the church came a loud wail. A short, rather round, very over dressed older black lady just cries out, “Oh Lordy Jesus. The police are here to tell me my baby’s dead.” I cleared my throat again and told her no, everything is fine. That I just wanted her to step outside with me for a few minutes so that I could talk to her about her son. Well, that went over even worse and she continued wailing. About that time the Pastor came over and asked me what was going on. I explained to him that I had found her son passed out in his car. That I could have taken him for DUI, but that he seemed like a good guy and I just wanted to get him to someone who could take care of him. The Pastor understood and he explained this to the Mother, who at this time was surrounded by several of her friends. (All equally short, round and over dressed) After a few moments the Pastor seemed to have finally gotten through to her so we went outside where I told them to wait while I got her son from my car. Walking to my car I could see the guy in the back of my car. Based on the look on his face I think he was having second thoughts about being dropped off here. I get him out of the car and he tells me that I can take him to jail. “Oh no,” I say, “we’ve come this far. You’ll be fine.” We walk over to his Mother where she is standing with the Pastor and her friends. I thank them for their help and exit stage left. Instantly the guy was surrounded by his Mother, her friends, and the Pastor and they began praying over him, saying that they needed to drive the devil from him for doing such a horrible thing. The last thing I saw as I drove away was him looking longingly at my patrol car as he was escorted into the church. Epilogue: You don’t always have to take people to jail. As I’ve said before, being a cop is about helping people and solving problems. I made a big impression on the guy (even though he ended up having second thoughts), the Pastor, the Mom, her friends, and the whole congregation. They even started contacting me with problems and issues as well as passing information to me about dealers and crimes that were being committed. So ultimately it all worked out. Although to be honest, I did feel kind of bad for the guy knowing what he was in for.

35 views · Jun 21st