There is no going back, and there is no need to go back. You have to go forward, not back.
Again and again you will think about how to go back. There is no going back; there is no need to go back. You have to go forward. You have to attain your own light; and that can be done. There is no possibility of going back, and even if there were, the same experience wouldn't satisfy you anymore. It would just be a repetition, it wouldn't give you the same thrill: The thrill was in the novelty of it. Now the same experience is not going to give you any joy. You will say, "This I know - but what more is there? What is new in it?" And if it is repeated a few times, you will get bored with it.
One has to go forward, and each day there are new experiences. Existence is so eternally new, that you never have the same glimpse again. It has so many millions of aspects that each day you can have a new vision - so why bother about the old? There is no need.