To my Subscribers, please address me with common courtesy before you vent your grievances about my channel.
***ACTUAL TIGGER WARNING FOR ANY VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE PLEASE PROCEED BELOW WITH CAUTION!*** 😭 I genuinely cried shaking through this whole post and had to stop and sob and pray myself through all the bombardment of horrific memories just to type this. I hope my excruciating pain is worth it to someone on here... @mindsprome How dare you accuse me of such a toxic and vile illegality. Would you like to be accused of libel?🤔 *sigh* And I suffered (yes, suffered, genuine ptsd) soo patiently and silently through this subject when it was all the drama on Minds recently. Partly bc I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOLICON WAS until I came across the controversy on this site! (you can say I'm not a 'true' anime fan for being naive of that content later, one hater at a time please.) But more importantly, because in terms of this site that subject is a LEGAL issue, and I have to bear the burden of a PUTRID PERSONAL BIAS ON THIS TOPIC. My opinion wouldn't count in a court of law so I didn't feel comfortable expressing it here. I feel even more uncomfortable NOW but you went and made it personal and disrespectful and I can't contain my pain anymore. I'll accept whatever consequences come from this post. Did you think you could vapidly threaten me with poor social media optics because you're a blue checked Plus user and I'm just a free pleb on here? You think I care about downvotes?? Have at this kitty. I was loyally subscribed to you for QUITE a while before you ever mutually followed my pg. You're disappointed in me? I'm sorry to hear you didn't read my bio, especially since you subscribed to me, if you had you'd know my channel isn't curated for your pleasure but my eternal King's glory. He and my husband are the only people I fret over disappointing. Other opinions are tertiary at best to me. It is NONE of ANYONE'S business, BUT *I* was a victim of pedophilia, grooming, and molestation within and without the entertainment industry. Starting first when I was 6yrs old and continuing until I was 18, because of course after that I was an adult and it was genuine sexual harassment and open programming of an unwilling defenseless woman at that point. Oh! And lest I could ever forget I graduated to rape! Bc so many men have standards in the industry [professional or plebeian] you know, they won't ever penetrate a child, only "play" with them... I knew what genuine "Lolita" content was from the original source book and the entertainment industry's typing and programming of ME. Why me? Because I fell into a very specific actress category in the industry called, "18 to play" or 18 to play under. It's used for actresses who are over 18 but can pass for teen on screen with enough smoke and mirrors and post to aid the illusion. For reference, I was 26yrs old when a woman finally officially pinned this label on me. I was quite the beauty boon for them 🙄 Petite at not even 5'2", wide eyed, and curvy with a blessed bum that could be hidden under full skirts and coveted teardrop breasts with cleavage that could be curated sensually in low cut tops or corsets to display for desire, but still bound and hidden by shapeless tops, "when needed" for me to still play teen roles. That day I sobbed futilely and frightfully because I KNEW the industry would NEVER let me be free of my trauma and they'd contractually force me to relive it all again and again for petty profit. You don't know how many times I heard, "Don't let the pain drown you baby, let it fuel you. Curate it for your craft. Don't let it go to waste and let (them) win. Harness it! Be brave! We're all here for you. We're so proud of you! We love you Kitty." You don't know what it's like to have to remember that there are tapes floating around out there of me that I know first hand men have masturbated to. I've seen the lotion stash with my own eyes. I have to live everyday knowing that some stranger I've never met or seen, gets to see me in their home everyday on the wall, in a portrait they purchased where I'm not even 10yrs old innocently playing with props in the pic provided by the first pedophile who ever abused me. Oh but some users here say lolicon is fictional characters so no one is harmed then right? ... You don't know what it's like to be a pretty plebeian actress with doppelgangers in media, where you have to hear, "This character reminds me so much of you. Sometimes I can't help but think of you when I enjoy that scene alone in private..." You don't know what it's like to see porn or pornographic "art" of fictional characters people associate with you and know they get off on it because they can't get to you. You don't know what it's like to see yourself in lolicon bc the character, who technically really doesn't look like you at all, fits your industry 'typing' and you've been trained since childhood to "SEE and notice your 'type' and how others respond to it. You don't know what it was like seeing loli content boosted on Minds for spite, and have to struggle with the searing pain of pedophile PTSD over and over again while you try to scroll away as fast as you can, and everyone's discussing the victims in comments to support their side, but no one's actually asking for any adult victim's experience on the subject. (with the exception I found in @SMetzeler God bless you for speaking up so much for the adult surviving victims of pedophilia on this site. I wish I was as brave and strong as you on this subject 😞) @mindsprome I'm sorry I posted an anime picture, in a group of which you're not a member, of a clearly adult maid taking a break from work outside on a beautiful day and it triggered you to think of pedophilia. (no child has a bum THAT plump while lying down. 99% of natural adult women that size don't have a derriere that tall in that position either, without padding. I'd know. I've seen it all XD That's not a 9yr old as you claimed.) When I saw that art it inspired actual HOPE and JOY in me about my future as a Tradwife away from the city, and I even TEXTED IT TO MY HUSBAND to share the feelz with him. (he's no more of a pedo than I am, and in fact, he fought as hard as he could to protect me from sexual exploitation in the industry, but he couldn't be everywhere at once, nor could he quell my own idiocy in the industry at that time.) Sauce for my text and his enthusiastic response will be in the comments. But you know what? I'm disappointed too, tho not in you. I'm disappointed firstly a bit in Ottman and his buggy basic UI from a site that's been around long enough to smooth foundational UI out, when apparently anyone can see pictures I post in a group, and NOT just on my Feed? Thank you so much Bethesda Social for facilitating this weeping wound moment, it's been quite an emotional bounty for this masochist. But chiefly I'm disappointed in myself. I'm disappointed because idk what to do right now. The seed I seek so hard daily to bury is sprouting excessive thorns within me rn and I can't stop trembling and sobbing in fits. I don't want to block you @mindsprome bc I really enjoy your channel (you can block me if you don't like my anime art shares idc) but now I cannot imagine seeing your pfp and not crying at this memory. Rn I cannot even imagine seeing any anime art and not remembering this malignant moment. My Husband will be home from work soon and he'll have to come home to me in a state he hasn't seen in YEARS. Congratulations! I hope the downvoting and commenting for social media clout was worth it to you. Perhaps you'll be happy, you prompted response from someone who knows FIRST HAND how dangerous lolicon type media can be! YES! It harms people who didn't even pose for the pic themselves. I'd know. I am one. No selfish platitudes about censorship, "art", or freedom of speech, take away the years of sexual abuse and grooming I experienced in the entertainment industry ❣😭 Anyway I guess that's it. I said it. Now all of you know what a tarnished toy I've been since I was 6yrs old. Cats please don't bother debating me on this topic in the comments below. If you've read my bio you know this isn't a debate account. I've said my piece, we each must walk our own path in this life with our own convictions. These are mine, please respect them. You may unsub or block me if you must but please do not report me to Minds and accuse me of being like the very demons who still haunt me daily. I am not, nor will I ever be, one of them. To anyone who actually read through all of this, bless you. I hope to God I didn't trigger anyone else's past trauma, that would never be my intent, ever. Thank you for taking the time to read through some of my dark history. To my Subscribers and lurkers... I might need to go away from Minds for a bit and cleave to my husband and King to get this kicked around kitty back properly on her feet with her head on straight. I'm a mess right now... I can't fucking (pardon my language cats but this is too much for me rn) get the smell of bourbon breath out of my nose or the feel of sweaty stubble off my skin rn. I'm terrified I'll have night terrors again tonight and keep my family up 😭 This weekend is hard enough for us, Mother's Day isn't always the happiest day for everyone, sometimes it's incredibly hard in the face of fresh loss. But hey, I'm a masochist right!? The enemy can have a field day tonight piling on the pain, I can take it. It's not like I have a choice 😑 All I can do is wait for Hubs to get home and calm and care for his traumatized kitty... Boy is he gonna be happy... 😓 Bear with me please cats. I'm really really sorry. More than I can say. No judgment to any who feel they need to unsub, but deep gratitude to all who stay with this hot mess in the Mindsverse 🙏🏻💀 👀👉🏻 I should probably note for some of you who wouldn't necessarily be able to tell if you don't look at all my anime posts, I'm only meaning lolicon that is sensually inspired and/or sexually explicit. There's nothing wrong with wholesome and modest loli art. (The term "loli" itself is unfortunately problematic but that's a separate issue it's not indicative of the entirety of Japan anime, art, beauty, or culture.) If that were the case all the obsessed Mommy's flooding their Facebook with pics of their precious babies would be in a world of hurt legally, no? ~Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere. G.K. Chesterton ~"No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light." ‐Jesus of Nazareth Luke 11:33-36 🕊 Ok. That's it. Can I go away now? 😅😞 #lolivictim #lolisurvivor *******
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