Excerpt ---- Since when did we start treating potential partners as completed checklists, dished out by a cosmic espresso machine with a dollop of whipped cream and a brown paper napkin? There is crucial value in recognizing and prioritizing non-negotiable qualities, like spiritual leadership, kindness, and faithfulness. I’m not suggesting we deemphasize those — far from it. But when the way a woman dresses, the kind of job a man has, or the way he sets the table becomes a box to check, love becomes a self-serving enterprise. What if, instead of an instrument for our own gratification, we saw the other person as a soul to sanctify and be sanctified? Like any friendship or relationship between human beings, marriage is a process of two people making each other better, refining one another, and choosing to make sacrifices. The baselines are vital, but more helpful than a magic formula are hard work and a mutual commitment to serve.
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