FLATWOODS, KY - According to sources, local 7-year-old Bella McClusky recently got a brand new toy from her Grandmother. After only 5 minutes of playing with her new toy, she reportedly got bored and elected instead to watch other people play with the exact same toy on YouTube. 'I don't get it,' sai...
babylonbee.com
CHULA VISTA, CA - President Biden has been looking for a general contractor to head up the completion of the border wall as the immigration crisis spins out of control. He went through a stack of applications on his desk, and one of them stood out to him: one Donaldio Trumptinez, a construction fore...
babylonbee.com
U.S. - 'When the pandemic is over and the government lets us stop wearing masks, I'm gonna do so much stuff,' said Carl Landon to a friend recently, as Landon is a hopelessly naive optimist and kind of a gullible moron. 'We gave the government all this power without putting up a fight, and they're d...
babylonbee.com
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - As the Derek Chauvin trial continued this week, the nation began bracing for the most peaceful protests so far. 'We're getting ready for some really peaceful protests,' said one business owner as he boarded up his storefront. 'We ain't seen nothin' yet when it comes to just how pea...
babylonbee.com
CHULA VISTA, CA - President Biden has been looking for a general contractor to head up the completion of the border wall as the immigration crisis spins out of control. He went through a stack of applications on his desk, and one of them stood out to him: one Donaldio Trumptinez, a construction fore...
babylonbee.com
U.S. - 'When the pandemic is over and the government lets us stop wearing masks, I'm gonna do so much stuff,' said Carl Landon to a friend recently, as Landon is a hopelessly naive optimist and kind of a gullible moron. 'We gave the government all this power without putting up a fight, and they're d...
babylonbee.com
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - As the Derek Chauvin trial continued this week, the nation began bracing for the most peaceful protests so far. 'We're getting ready for some really peaceful protests,' said one business owner as he boarded up his storefront. 'We ain't seen nothin' yet when it comes to just how pea...
babylonbee.com