You know what? Fuck that.
This hookup shit and this onlyfans shit isnt what I want, and it isnt gonna make me happy. Sure maybe the attention and money might be nice but it isn't the right thing for me.
I'm gonna take things seriously and try to find someone I can care about
I'm gonna keep on fixing my life. I'm gonna keep on trying to improve my life.
I need to fight these self destructive urges and not give into them. I'm not gonna let myself crash and burn no matter how much I want to.
I'm not gonna let myself become what I don't want to be. I wont let myself become my dad. I wont let myself go insane and lose who I am.