"Five people murdered is no joke. Of course, and please stop me if you’ve heard this before, that is all a complete lie. Would you like to hear about the five “murders” you believe happened on the 6th? One man died of a heart attack, one woman collapsed for yet unknown reasons, one woman was shot and killed by a police officer, one man had a stroke, and one police officer died. As of the time of this writing, the medical examiner has been unable to prove the police officer died from any external force.
There. Those are the five “murders” you believe happened. "