'Ello ello ello... I am arresting you for attempting to visit your relatives with a view to supplying mince pies and Christmas presents which were found upon your person and which could be classed as a covid spreading risk. As you know, mince pies are not classed as a substantial meal and are therefore not covered by corona virus protections. We are also arresting you for hugging your grandmother at her front door as witnessed by her neighbours. Anything you say will be used against you."
