Gratitude, Trying!

Back in 2012 when I was half awake it was easy to be grateful for the simple things in life, the health that a raw pastured/wild meat diet brings, sunshine and fresh air on 60 Acres, and almost completely pulled free of the system, producing my own pasture-raised food and selling a little extra and lots of time for studying in meditation. But as my awareness of how this planet really works has increased I have come to feel like I am stuck in a waking nightmare. Virtually no one seems to understand how biology Works in this dimension so they wage germ warfare on themselves and their children and attempt to force it upon other people. People's minds are Shackled even when they think they are awake. Religion has a well-intentioned death grip on so many people. Liberals want tolerance for people but don't have it for others themselves. And no one seems to see who is manipulating them to and fro at the very top. So lately I have been trying to force myself to feel the Gratitude I did back in 2012 and it's difficult but that's what these posts will be about over the next few weeks. I'm grateful for my dogs, even tho half my pack is living elsewhere and they have been poisoned and mutilated and lynched by taxpayers, their goons and family. I'm grateful to have a steady supply of pastured meat, even tho most of it has been tainted one way or another by the industrial food system, the tax payer and ignorant producers. I'm grateful for the sunshine even tho I'm forced at gunpoint to live in a polar vortex in which the temperature alone will kill you half of the year. I'm grateful to have this little RV to call my mansion and to share it with only my pups who are about the only dramaFree people i've ever met, even if I would be roaming free with them in a warm sunny climate if the American tax payer hadn't attacked and destroyed my family. I'm grateful to be eating raw animal foods and have healed myself from myriad autoimmune conditions 100% through foods even though western medicine nearly killed me. I'm grateful to have the support of the only member of my family who isn't completely leftist nuts or fanatic Baptist Zionist-Boot-Licking christians. I'm grateful to have traveled much of the world and had amazing experiences in jungle, ocean, tundra, sea, mountains, desert and forest. I'm thankful that even tho every female I've ever dated was nuts, they were at least all incredibly beautiful externally and in between their demons. I'm grateful for everyone I see out there who is diligently searching fpr truth and not settling for anything less. That is very few of the population, so many pseudo "woke" out there. But for those who are rigorous and relentless, I appreciate you. I'm grateful to be scraping by doing something I love, looking after Dogs, walking and training them. Not hating my day to day work is a first for me. I'm grateful for entheogens even if they put me at risk for years in prison because Americans can't fathom the definitions of constitutional, legitimate authority, public harm, self determination, and hazardous substance. I'm grateful for warm clothing. Solid, leather boots. I'm grateful that my family tries to do the right thing according to their belief systems even if those systems are hopelessly lost in the wilderness. At least intent is there. I'm grateful to have the internet to constantly feed my restless mind new insight and ideas with which to put together the big picture and understand this strange holodeck thingy we are trapped within, even tho I would give it up in a heartbeat if I could be marooned on a tropical island large enough to survive on. I'm grateful specifically for DMT and Mushrooms and all the things they've shown me. I hate the person I would be without them....someone else' creation and delusion and livestock.. I'm thankful for all the animals of the forest who are struggling like myself to survive in the face of the modern world and all it's unnecessary poisons and greed. I'm thankful that my dwelling is 35F+ rather than below freezing, most of the time. This might not be the "right" way to express gratitude but it's the best i can muster right now. Humanity is not inspiring any enthusiams for a positive outcome. Just a whole lot of flailing in the dark rather than real awakening, moving from one illusion to another..