The Jab - Chapter 5
Isolation was starting to really set in for me. At least I still had Sarah, but even things with her were getting a bit strained.
She reached her limit with regard to the DWAs after the second time that I brought them up, and that was before I had even scratched the surface. If she any inkling that I was going to reference anything that I had read in any of those articles, I could expect a short tempered response.
She had a few go to phrases that I quickly became very accustomed to. "I'm tired, let's go to bed" was her typical phrase if I tried to bring it up at night. If it was during a meal, she would say deflect with a question like, "What do you think about me going vegetarian?" If we were walking in the park, it was always about some random flower or tree. DWAs were all that I cared about and, as such, we no longer had anything in common to talk about.
There were many nights that I could barely even lay next to her. I began to wonder what the limits of our wedding vows really were. How strong was our marriage if something as mundane as referencing those articles could hurt it? We had been through so much together, so why was this the tipping point?
***
Sarah and I had met in high school. She attended the high school in the next valley over the mountain ridge. We met during a track meet, or rather, we collided.
Most schools put the pole vaulting mat outside of the track for a reason. I was running the anchor position 4x400m relay, and Sarah was making an attempt at jumping eight foot. She realized that she wasn't running fast enough to have a successful jump, and took a sharp left to avoid touching the mat. Note that as long as you don't touch the mat, it doesn't count as the end of your attempt. Well, as you can infer, that sharp left was straight into none other than me.
My falling down in the last stretch of the race cost us any chance of winning, but honestly, as a teenage boy, I couldn't have been happier. I had a cute blonde girl, whose eyes were as blue as a summer sky, entangled in my limbs. I don't know whether it was the mild concussion or my hormones, but I swear that she glowed.
I was lost staring into her eyes when I suddenly heard screaming. It was my coach. His face as red as a tomato, about to have an aneurism if I didn't get up and finish the race. I hobbled my way across the finish line. I turned around and Sarah was right behind me with sad puppy dog eyes begging for forgiveness.
I told her that she could make it up to me by buying me an ice cream at the Meyer Dairy the next weekend. She agreed. My heart almost jumped out of my chest I was so happy. There was one condition. She told me that I'd have to come pick her up. That was something I was more than happy to do.
The rest was history. We made it through college together, which was helped by the fact that we both ended up going to Penn State. We got married as soon as she graduated with her degree in accounting. I went on to get an MBA, and then we started figuring out where we wanted to land. We ended up here in Tulsa. Her uncle was wanting to retire, so he said that we could take over his bookstore. It really seemed like God was looking out for us.
We flipped that bookstore's business model upside down. We added a coffee shop as well as a full bar. We even set up a stage. We booked poets, singer/songwriters, and stand up comics every night of the week. We had a recycle policy for the books that gave half the money back for the book after the customer was done reading it. The used books were sold at half price to the original price. Thus, the popular books that were sold, returned, sold, returned, and so forth got us a substantial profit margin.
We had also become close with the other businesses around us. We all got together over our lunch breaks and chatted gossip about the neighborhood. But Jack seemed to be around more often than most.
At first, I thought it was just that Jack really liked books. Or maybe our coffee was just that good. But neither of those explained his obsession with trying to make Sarah laugh.
Jack owned the auto dealership down the road, and was always dressed to the nines. He managed to toe that line between hipster and well dressed businessman. Though he had a full beard, you could tell that his chin was chiseled none the less. I couldn't help but feel less than around him, and I think that just emboldened his antics even further.
I kept an eye on them from a distance, never having the guts to approach them and tell him to back off. I had told Sarah that I didn't appreciate the way that he was always hanging around her, but she only reassured me that I could always trust her. It wasn't her that I didn't trust.
As weeks went on, Jack got more cozy. Too cozy. He had formed the habit of having his hand on her shoulder or on her knee when he would tell her something. Sarah didn't mind, but I did.
Even more weeks passed and he started inviting her out to drinks after work. She played coy and always brought me along as if I was intended to be invited, but I knew different. If it was meant to be as friends, there would have been more than the three of us. He also always managed to direct us in situations where there were two chairs for them, and I had to awkwardly stand as a third behind her. I didn't know how much more I could endure. That is, until the inevitable outcome finally came.
Jack made his move on a night that I had a stomach bug. They ended back at his place after a few drinks... and she told me he kissed her. She also told me that she pulled away repulsed by his behavior and came straight home. The issue is, she wasn't angry or upset in the slightest when she told me what happened. Her eyes had a dreamy look to them. It almost seemed like she had wished that she was single so that she could have fallen into his arms that night. I believe, in my heart of hearts, the only reason why she came home was because of how important marriage was to her. Not me, but the vow.
And now, with all our current strains, I feel that her ideals may not be enough. As bad as it may be, I dare not lose hope in us. It is all I have left.
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