Midnight Post #1: MGTOW (Men Go Their Own Way)

I had a somewhat brief (in regards to the subject) post about this on another user's blog about this issue earlier today, however I discussed this with a coworker during my closing shift tonight and thought to put more down as a result (and also restart this series as explained in the "prologue" post earlier).

I only recently, within the last year or so, heard about this abbreviation and it wasn't until just a few months ago that I learned what it meant. I think I'm ready now to really wrap my head around this and think about it critically. The past few years has been a whirlwind of politics, and that has changed the social climate of many first world nations extraordinarily. The only reason I pay attention to politics or even politically involved in the first place is because it was damn near shoved down my throat during the 2016 presidential election cycle. However pertaining to the topic at hand, the terms "misogyny," "patriarchy," "feminism," and others of the like exploded into relevance or existence around the same time. Now we have a cultural completely divided on more fronts than one, but I will focus just on the male and female one for now.

We have a culture now where many find it socially acceptable to demonize men for no other reason than that they are male. "Toxic masculinity" and "rape culture" was talked about nonstop only two years ago. This created an adverse affect on both men and women. Men are pushed away, hated and rejected by a large group of society on a general level. Many feel resentment and lash back out, some in more acceptable ways than others. Women are pushed forward, propped up into areas some may not want to be in and others may not be prepared and/or qualified for. Many are failing and falling down without knowing what has happened. And both are pushed away from one another, segregation of the sexes as well as a complete removal of their differences. "Men are women and women are men, they are both equal in every way!" But they aren't...

Now this is not to say one is superior than the other, but rather that they need each other. There are very clear difference between men and women, and not just physical appearance. These differences complement one another, a natural pairing that ensures the survival of our species: reproduction. Now I am speaking generally, so please remember that as I continue hereafter. Men are more durable, stronger, both physically and mentally. They persevere. They are the protectors and the providers. Women are more nurturing, caring, both physically and mentally. They endure. They are the caretakers and the guardians. The men ensure the physical survival of our species, while the women ensure the mental growth. Long before our species expanded their knowledge, the men hunted not only to provide for their themselves, family, and group, but also to protect them all. The women, in turn, kept the territory in order and cared for the offspring. This still can be applied to today. Men go out and work to earn income, capitol, while women take care of the home and raise the children. With these roles demonized today, men and women are to be seen as interchangeable when they are not. Men are not as understanding nor emotionally open to raise the young. Women are not as durable and strong to work the tough jobs to provide for the entire family. Men and women need each other. I believe humans evolved this way for a reason: it WORKED. This pairing of men and women, or rather male and female, works nearly everywhere on Earth and not just for humans.

Since the continued attack on masculinity and femininity, the natural bond between men and women created by the natural drive to reproduce itself is under attack. Women have taken to this new direction far easier and far faster than men have in my experience. Many women are embracing this single lifestyle, the "don't need no man" mentality. However, some studies suggest that women are more unhappy this way. This choice is unfulfilling. The suicide rate of females is hitting decade highs (although males are still much, much higher). Some do find happiness this way though, and good for them, but that has also always been the case. No two people are the same. Men are left feeling just as unhappy and unfulfilled. While I feel they can live this solo life much easier than women as women are flipping roles entirely whereas men are just losing out on one aspect of theirs, humans are still emotional and social creatures. We value connections with others. You and I are on a social media website after all! The worst part is the unfulfilled drive to procreate, the very survival of our species. While this new social influence props up single encounters and casual flings, they are no replacement for a dedicated couple raising the next generation. A single parent cannot, and studies have shown this, raise a child or children on their own. It takes both a mother and a father to ensure they are taught well and prepared for the world before them.

So to finally tackle the title issue, MGTOW is a response to the new social climate surrounding the roles of men and women as well as their interactions with one another. Since many women flocked to this new single adventure, many men have created an equal response. However, neither will find happiness in doing so. Some may, but the majority I believe won't. To throw my own hat in the ring; I have not dated since high school - nearly six years ago now. I was in a dedicated relationship for about a year and a half before it ended. The next closest thing I had was one really nice date more than a year ago. You could say I have been going my own way, but I would like to think of it as more really exploring myself as cliche as that sounds. I wanted to know what I wanted from this life, what I valued in it, and how I was going to make it all happen. I found all those answers about two years ago, but haven't seriously gone on the dating hunt. I guess I wasn't sure of myself, or perhaps I was more afraid of this new era in our society. For now I am not throwing myself out there fully, but I am always paying attention for that special person who could come around when I least expect it that is a perfect match.

For the guys, since I can speak to you easier and as I am tackling this side of the issue because of vested interest: MGTOW is not the answer. You need to know what you want out of a potential partner, you need to know what you want for yourself. You need to know what it is you want out of this one and only life you have, what kind of person you would want to spend it with, and how you can make it all happen. Once you know those answers, you will be more than ready to go out there and find that significant other. There are plenty, many even, of women (and men) out there who would be a great match for each and every one of you, and they are looking for the same thing you are. Going your own way, living this life all by your lonesome, is not what you deserve, nor will it be happy nor fulfilling. As for me, I'll be out there looking with you guys very soon, once I'm in the position to make everything I want happen.

For those of you who made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. I typed more than I thought I would on this topic, but I'll be sure to edit the lengths of the subsequent posts of this series for brevity's sake. Please do post a comment to add to this discussion - I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. And for the ladies, how you doin'? Sorry, I'm not good at making the first move...