The problem of privilege, poker, and a way forward

How can I enjoy nice things when others are suffering? What can I do to make life better for those less privileged than me?

These are questions that many, though not all, people ask themselves. Maybe it has something to do with personality? The causes of why some people are more prone to feel bad about having a good time may be the topic of another blog past. Today, I turn my focus to sketching out just how I have understood these two questions and one solution I've reached about how to proceed. 

The problem of privilege

Life is full of unequal opportunities as well as unequal outcomes. Life is not a well-balanced RPG. Some people are OP (over-powered) and others are perma-nerfed (given very little, without much chance of competing with others).

How then, do we "even the playing field" so that those who are born into circumstance of less can enjoy more? 

Let's use an analogy of a card game (like Poker). Each person is dealt a hand. Some hands are better than others. Of course, you may play your hand more or less skillfully, but at the end of the day, some hands just win and others don't. 

Your poker analogy sucks

The card game analogy given above suggests that people are pitted agains each other in competition. For there to be winners, there must be losers. In some realms (e.g. playing games), this is true. But is it true for all human endeavors?

There is not a fixed amount of value in the world. At a poker table, there may be a fixed amount of chips and getting more chips for yourself might mean somebody else loses chips. Can the same be said of art? Music? Business?

If we perceive enjoying nice things as a net positive for the world, that doesn't necessarily mean subtracting from others, then the problem of privilege becomes moot.

We don't need to "even the playing field", because your winning doesn't entail my losing. We can seek win-win situations together. You or I may end up with proportionally more or less shekels/good experiences/vacation days/etc. But then again, you and I probably don't produce equal amounts of value. 

Inequality is a fact of life and it is not clear how or why it should be "solved".

We (hopefully) can all agree that initiating the use of force (violence) against others is wrong, as is stealing. Working together to achieve mutual goals while understanding we will not all equally contribute, we can move past an "us against them" mentality. Or, when we do compete, we can do it in a non-violent way that produces value for society.

Let's talk about feelings

Seeing other people have opportunities that you don't have is tough.

Graduating high school, pretty much everyone around me went to college. FOMO (fear of missing out) was our rallying cry, as we went out to try to claim for ourselves comparable experiences. Then, we documented those experiences with photos and posted them on social media. Most people got many experiences, but not everyone.

Many people find themselves in tough situations they had no input in choosing. Some people get dealt real bad hands in life. You may have a terrible illness, just not be very smart (something we shouldn't blame people for), or just not be very good looking. Some people "have it all". Others are born swimming upstream.

However, just as people don't choose the bad circumstances they are born into, people likewise don't choose the good circumstances they are born into either. We should not resent dumb people for being dumb and not doing more. They didn't choose that. Likewise, we shouldn't resent smart people for being smart and doing a lot. They didn't choose that "starter pack" either.

There are many people that would like to weaponize feelings to transform sympathy and compassion into anger and resentment. 

We may find ourselves feeling bad about the terrible situations some people are in. Who do we hate? Who is causing this?! Where are the racists? Show me the witches! Who is stashing away those Bitcoins that could end poverty tomorrow?

And then, the devil approaches you with a deal.

Vote for Obama, and you'll do your part to fight racism in America. Defend Islam (without having studied it) and you will be on the right side of history—the revolution will spare you (though Armageddon won't, I imagine). Promote the forced redistribution of wealth, or we'll tell everyone you don't care about the poor.

Not wanting to feel bad, I subscribe to the Huffington Post and inform my friends that I have done so by re-linking some articles.  

You can use your privilege for good

With the time, attention, and shekels you have, you can be you be your own little socialist dictator. You can use top-down planning with the family and friends around you to design the future you want. You can reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior.

You can choose to only allow honest people in your community. And those that are honest, are kind, and are good listeners, you can reward with Boba milk tea and camping trips. Or whatever kids like these days. 

You can stop and chat with the lonely looking fellow at the Subway across from where you work. You can help an old lady carry her her groceries to her car. You can encourage the people around you to do the same.

However, you are not a socialist dictator, because (I hope) you are relying on non-violence and non-theft to bring about your perfect world. Rather, you are relying on negotiation, relationships, and knowing the "will of the people" to do what you do. You may need to ostracize people from your life you deem to stray too far from your value set; you will not tolerate abuse of those you love. You may forgive and mend relationships with those you ostracize if they truly have shown to you and your community that they have changed.

Respect the Random Number Gods (RNGs)* and realize much of what you dealt was not your choice or doing—same goes for everyone. Once free of resentment at unfairness, strive to build your perfect world. But in doing so, honor the Silver Rule:

One should not treat other people in the manner in which one would not want to be treated by them

Minimally, this means do not initiate the use of force and do not steal (See Universally Preferable Behavior (UPB) for a defense of these commands as a basis for morality). Act in self defense against abuse.

Do check your privilege, but check it like you check your backpack's inventory before going out camping. What are the tools I have at my disposal to do what I want to do? If you have less privilege than the person next to you, that makes you kind of cool—like a minimalist backpacker. Show the world how you can do more with less. You can build more equipment as you go, innovate solutions, or make connections with people with whom you can exchange value for value.

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* Theory: Kek is an avatar of the Random Number Gods (RNGs). Maybe a theologian can help me here.