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totally real virus alert for spiderman movie pirates!!! (clik to read)

deckenkatzeDec 27, 2021, 11:25:36 PM

look out guys here comes the realest article ive ever seen, written by genuine journalismists and not terrified movie execs:

 yeah! lets tl;dr and get straight to the fax here

fuck not a cyber scam unleashed in the crypto world. that is my favorite world. and installing cloud systems in torrents??? insidious.

shit, not the time-honored scheme of using real names. it shamefully leaves the cyber police baffled. side note, “probably” here kills me. YEAH UH IT PROBABLY DISABLES YOUR DEFENSES AND FUCKS YOUR DOG 🐶 💦

cryptocurrencies, after all, are best known for interfering with paying bills. this is how the movie detective force were able to ferret out this crime. but what sort of damage are we talking about here??

10%?? why that’s just enough to give me placebo scares every time my computer goes a little slower than usual 😦 youve sold me, how do i prevent months of damage to the crypto world, MPAA journalist???

oh thank god. i’m not even interested but ill head to the theater right now just to make sure i inoculate myself against monthly 10% computer damage. i hear that number goes up to 20% if you get a large popcorn too.