Why I Write, May 2019

At age 12, armed with a pen and a notebook, I wrote my first story. 

One story led to another. And another. And another. I soon realized that I'd discovered another way to {emotionally} escape from my life, which sucked in most aspects. Most days, within the safety of my bedroom, I would switch on my stereo and let the music fuel my creativity. I felt content in that space because I was in control of what happened. I chose the music. I held the pen that created my alternative world. Books, music, and writing served as a buffer for my father's alcoholism-fueled dysfunction. 

My love for writing has stuck with me throughout my life and, 42 years later, I still find great comfort in that creative process. I remember aspiring to be a best selling author throughout my teens, fantasizing about book tours and seeing my name at #1 on the best seller list. I dreamed of receiving Writer's Guild awards and a Pulitzer Prize or two. 

In my 20's I worked on a novel and finished a short story, but motherhood happened shortly before "30" and, two years later, I went through a divorce. During my second marriage, I started writing again, but it was a different style of writing. I joined a role-playing community and collaborated with other writers within that community. We all wrote some great stories together before the community became less active. 

After divorce #2, I started writing more about personal experiences, such as surviving abuse, grief, parenting, life observations, etc. I found non-fiction easier to write because I was "writing what I knew".

I think it's important for a writer to understand where the need to write comes from. For me, it was learning, over many decades, that it wasn't about the sort of success I dreamed of in the beginning. It's not even really about me. When I write about my experiences, I'm not doing it for pity. I'm not doing it for advice. I'm not doing it because I love talking about myself...because I'd rather not. 

I write to reach people who share the same experiences, emotions, beliefs, opinions. I think it's important that those with the same hearts {empathic introverts} find each other, bond, and become empowered. 

I don't care about being a best selling author anymore. I don't care about book signings or Writer's Guild awards or the Pulitzer Prize. Success, for me, is when someone reaches out to tell me how much my writing helped them feel less alone in this world.   💟☮

           "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
                                                                                            ~ Ray Bradbury