This Afterlife (an Autobiography) Chapter 4 "A Foot in the Door"

During my brief separation from my family, my stepbrother called me at my father’s home. It was a bit of a surprise that he wanted to speak to me, as I had no contact with him since I was a teenager, and that contact was brief in itself.

Apparently he had heard about my situation and thought that I might be seeking a life change; not to mention his own motives to engage with me at that particular time.

He told me about a special piece of property that he had found online (after casually searching for an ideal off-grid plot of land for many years). The land that he had found was unique, as it was not only an in holding on state lands, but also a patented gold claim. Well off the beaten path, it was in true wilderness, eight miles from a paved road and four miles behind a locked gate. Sitting atop a mountain in the northernmost section of Central Washington, it seemed completely disconnected from any modern society. It also happened to be quite affordable.

The entire concept was captivating to me, and so well timed. My growing desire to unplug from the modern world, to live independently, and obtain a more peaceful lifestyle seemed completely congruous with the opportunity he presented. Suddenly there seemed a viable path to an early retirement. All I would need to do is create a new self-sustaining home in the wilderness and move into homesteading.

When I went to visit the land, it was more beautiful and peaceful than I had imagined. I experienced something that I had rarely (if ever) experienced in life, total silence. The land was rugged and set far above a river valley full of pristine lakes and small apple orchards. There was only one neighbor on this section of the mountain, a man who had been living there alone for more than a decade. He seemed a likely ally in effectively establishing a new home there.

The land was resource rich and covered in wildlife. It had a large pond, numerous trees, wind and sunshine, and amazing panoramic views. I envisioned building humble and sustainable low-cost structures to live in, windmills and solar power systems, growing gardens, and living out the rest of my life apart from a society that had become my mortal enemy. I might find peace after all.

I purchased the land immediately, and began creating elaborate plans for development and my family’s transition into a better life.

My wife was not as enthusiastic about the idea. Being a social person, the thought of living in the remote wilderness was not exactly her cup of tea. She had little interest in going that direction at all, much less devoting financial resources to the wild dreams of an insane man. Though she took some steps to appease my inspiration, it became more and more clear that she had little interest in playing into such lofty dreams.

Seeking compromise to preserve my family life, I scaled back my plans for the land and sought only meager budget resources to begin construction of a cabin and other components. Perhaps I could at least use the land as a retreat until it became more likely that I might be able to retire there.

In striving to become more spiritual in my life, I had begun listening more closely to messages that I felt were from Spirit. It had been the inspiration that arose in my heart that drove my purchase of the land in the first place, and it had seemed that Spirit was guiding me with how easily the land came into my possession. I felt that I must trust Spirit’s intention for the land and become less attached my own desires.

My eldest sister Janice had returned to Washington many months before, from a long stint in Hawaii. While there she had fallen very ill and had returned to Washington State to reclaim her health and to be more proximate to family. Her arrival home was indeed a great boon for our family. She had created re-union events that everyone attended and my siblings and I became more connected than we had been for years.

Janice’s health greatly improved over the months that had passed since she returned, and she turned intensely and interestingly spiritual. Apparently she had gone through a soul retrieval process with some medicine woman, and had taken to studying under the woman herself. I found it all a bit unconventional, but my curiosity had spiked after seeing the physical transformation. Though I had never met this shaman-woman, the fruits of her works were apparent in the rapid healing of my sister.

Of course, it seemed out of the question for me to pursue any pagan-type spirituality, as I had been partially raised among Christians who would swear that any path besides one directly through Christ was considered blasphemous and might end me up in an eternity of fiery hell. Besides I found it strange that my sister had started collecting dead animal parts in her home; it just seemed a bit too morbid for me.

Despite my closed-heartedness, it seemed that Spirit continued to send me messages related to a more shamanic approach to life. Again and again, the topic would come up in my daily life, no matter how often I dismissed it.

Then a family crisis occurred. My father-in-law in Mount Shasta, California was diagnosed with cancer. He had fairly recently lost his wife to poor health and he was now basically alone when he received the bad news. Knowing that he would need support, my wife and I quickly set out to visit him as he began chemotherapy treatments.

One night we stayed at a cheap hotel in Weed, California. In the morning, I ventured with my wife and son to the breakfast room for the standard complimentary breakfast. Upon entering the room, I observed a man wearing bright colors and a funny red had going from table to table speaking to the other hotel guests. It was clear that he did not work for the hotel, but was rather a wing nut; probably just being a bother to everyone he could intrude on.

Quickly I filled my coffee cup and headed out the door, trying not to be noticed by the man. It was too early to put up with such nonsense. I scurried down the hall toward the outer exit, where I hoped to have a smoke and drink my coffee in peace. No sooner did I leave the room than the man followed. By the time I made it to the outer exit, he was upon me and I was obligated to hold the door for him.

He instantly introduced himself and stated that it was always nice to reunite with another part of him. This deep and spiritual statement immediately captivated me. I could no longer ignore his presence. He joined me outside over a smoke.

He told me that he was a shaman. He had spent the last five years living in the wilderness, and he spoke about healing work he did through the ceremonial use of bowls. Though his stories were quite abnormal, I abandoned my own will to resist, and sat curious as to why Spirit was bringing more shamanic messages to me.

Soon my wife and I would return to Washington State, and I would return to work at Microsoft.

On my first day back to work, I entered the office of a co-worker. He seemed depressed, and I went in to see if I could help to brighten his mood. He was a kind, good looking, and charismatic man. We shared a birthday. He used to be in sales, which he enjoyed a great deal, but since entering into the operations side of the business, he had grown terribly unhappy. We spoke for some time about his and my situations.

Somewhere during the conversation, he brought up a woman who had greatly influenced his life for the better many years before. He went on to explain how she had also touched numerous other people within the organization with similar results. The fruits of her works and the success that she had brought into the lives of others resonated deeply with me, and reminded me of the medicine woman who had helped my sister so much.

Out of curiosity and an intuitive knowing, I asked if her name was Char Sundust. Char was the woman who had come to my sister’s aid and who I credited for bringing her back from the edge of death itself. His eyes grew wide open and he exclaimed, “How did you know that?!?” Spirit’s messages were now becoming too obvious. There was something about shamanism, or at least Char Sundust, that I must explore more deeply.

First however, I must speak directly to God about these messages and my fears. I was still unwilling to pursue any path that I thought might be destructive or blasphemous. After all I was seeking a path of healing and of a truly divine spiritual nature. I was tired of being deceived.

When I prayed about the subject and then listened, I heard only one message. “If you truly believe in me, then you will find me anywhere you seek.” I decided to see if I could get in touch with this Char Sundust person.

I still didn’t know Spirit’s plan, but I thought it might possibly have to do with the land I had procured. Perhaps she could use it for a retreat, which I would be happy to offer to someone who had brought so much good into the world. Maybe this was Spirit’s intention.

I went to my sister to see if I could get an introduction. I told her of the messages I had been receiving from Spirit, and she encouraged me to continue my exploration with courage. She explained that Char was holding a retreat in the coming days and that she would see if I might be able to attend, and to meet Char for myself.

Sadly the event was reserved for students of Char’s and so I was not allowed to attend. Char did receive the communication of my interest however and I was scheduled to have a phone call with her within a couple of weeks. I stood by in curiosity and went about my life until the day arrived.

Music: “Shoulders of Giants” (2017)
https://choon.co/tracks/0sm1pmy5ien/shoulders-of-giants/

Image: “The Mountain” by Cedar Branches (2013)