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Kindness as a Cure

bobdubDec 8, 2018, 12:04:05 AM

I found an article on Minds somewhere, and I now cannot find who posted it. But I wanted to reply anyways. The article is entitled "Positive Thinking: What a Positive Attitude Is (and Isn’t) and How to Develop One" [https://thestrongestmind.com/positive-thinking-what-a-positive-attitude-is-and-isnt-and-how-to-develop-one]

 This article suggests the following

1.) Avoid Negative People

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the attitudes of those you spend time with can easily rub off on you. While you can’t do much about difficult coworkers and immediate family, your choice of friends can make a huge impact on the way you see the world.

This doesn’t mean you should never talk to them again, of course. Just cut back on the amount of time you spend with these toxic individuals and seek out new friends that are more in line with who you’d like to become.

Personally I think that this is the worst advice anyone can give in modern society. It is selfish and stupid and downright cruel. 

Psychologists experiments have proved taht Positive Thinking does not work to alleviate Depression. So the fact is that while negative thinking is associated with depression, Depression cannot be cured with positive thinking. 

So to try to avoid people who have negative thinking is probably counter productive and will merely increase the levels of mental illness within our communities as it isolates the people who don't 'live up' to the standard for positivity within the community. 

In a very different article - "Delusion, Productivity, and Success - Does being delusional improve productivity and success?" [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201105/delusion-productivity-and-success] the author states 

There are three forms of delusion that most people exhibit. First, people may believe that they have more control over events and outcomes-even chance ones-than they actually do. Further, people believe that their future is rosier than it will actually turn out to be. Finally, individuals' faith in their abilities is incommensurately higher than their actual abilities.

This suggests that mentally healthy and happy people are more deluded than the mentally ill. Can you believe that? 

A more comlex interpretation suggests that Christains - who beleive that a man came back to life after being tortured to death - have happy and successful lives as a result of this belief which under the rules of Science would be called delusional. To extrapolate further, mentally ill people have a clearer perception of reality than mentally healthy people - who are deluded. 

I would like to suggest that instead of avoiding negative people, a far more compassinate and helpful approach would be to try and soothe their hard and viscous and souldestroying perception of reality. Talking will not help. Avoiding them to maximise your own 'happiness' is counterproductive because it merely leaves the problem for someone else to fix. However an approach of consistently kind and loving interaction is likely to alter the perceptioin that life is too hard to bear.

In conclusion then, instead of running for the hills in order to maximise your own selfish needs - how about being there for the unhappy guys? What if that was to work? Is it possible that Love is the answer everyone ahs been searching for?