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Sex sounds so good until your dad randomly calls you right before.

The Contemporary ManOct 1, 2018, 12:25:19 AM
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It has happened to everyone: You are both in the mood. You have teased, you have kissed, you are going at it, ripping each other’s clothes off and then, suddenly, the spark is gone.

There are plenty of things that can kill the mood, but some are more common than others:

1. Your mom calling

It is like, 10:30 PM on a Wednesday. She would not call unless it were something important, so of course, you have to stop your naked fun time to make sure something terrible hasn't happened. Moreover, nope, she needs to talk to you for 20 minutes about how to DVR something. No one wants to have sex after that!

2. You both heard a weird noise somewhere in the house

Don’t ignore it that is what people in horror movies do (and they are always the ones who die first). Of course, it always winds up being your cat knocking something over, but why risk it?

3. Sudden and debilitating nausea

Sometimes, that raw oyster bar dinner or the night out drinking are just preludes to barfing later. If you are lucky, you will have time to scream “JUST FINISH YOURSELF OFF” as you sprint to the bathroom.

4. One of you falling off the bed and making the other laugh way too hard

A bruised ego or butt is not exactly an aphrodisiac. However, sometimes, you get too caught up in the moment, lose your balance, and tumble to the floor with your partner's underwear in hand.

5. Somehow getting into an argument during the foreplay

You would think this would be impossible. How could anyone fight when he or she is about to bone?

6. Getting way too into the Netflix portion of “Netflix and chill.”

You scroll through the “trending now” section and throw on something that looks uninteresting enough. The next thing you know, you are binge-watching the whole series and wondering why no one told you about Stranger Things before now.

7. An unfortunate sex-related injury

This is why you should always stretch before sex. You do not want to cramp up during the deed.

8. Realizing you are out of condoms

Best case scenario, if you live in an urban area, you can get dressed and walk to a nearby store. You have to spend the whole time hoping you are somehow still aroused when you get back to the bedroom. Moreover, that is if you are lucky. Other people have to drive 20 minutes both ways.

9. Bad post-dinner gas

Think of your favorite celebrity crush. Now imagine them burping in your face just before you are about to get it on. Not so fun, eh?

10. Having that sexy Spotify playlist suddenly spiral out of control

It looked like “Sexy Bedroom Bangers” wouldn’t let you down. Why would it? Then Norwegian death metal comes on out of nowhere, and you are scrambling to find your phone.