The Havamal: A Heathen Path of Living (Part 8)

17.

When he meets friends, the fool gapes,

Is shy, and sheepish at first,

Then he sips his mead and immediately

All know what an oaf he is.

This stanza is further admonishing those that rely too heavily on alcohol. In this case, The Wanderer is telling us that using ‘liquid courage’ to get through social situations is not the best way to handle anxiety. Many people become overwhelmed at social situations and some even have panic attacks. Extroverts have an easy time with socializing.

Carl Jung was the first to describe the extraversion-introversion spectrum. According to this spectrum, extroverts are people who are ‘re-charged’ by social activities. Introverts feel drained at social activities. Typically, extroverts fall into socializing with no problems. However, introverts can find socializing difficult, even with their friends. Sometimes, introverts use alcohol or illegal drugs to ‘loosen up’ so they can socialize more easily. Unfortunately, this has other side effects. It does not take much alcohol (only a beer or two)  for one’s inhibitions to be lowered and judgment to be impaired. It does take more that a ‘sip’ as described in the stanza, but that is poetic license. But, once those inhibitions are lowered and the person begins to speak and act from a position of inebriated anxiety, then chances are that that person will start saying and doing things he will regret. And, then “all know what an oaf he is.”

Following many of the other lessons from The Wanderer is a much better way to handle social anxiety than drinking.  For some people, ‘drinking in moderation’ means drinking very little or nothing at all. Some people just should not drink any amount of alcohol. Whether its genetics or upbringing, these people cannot drink any amount of alcohol without bad consequences.

Also, if you are at a party and are not enjoying yourself, then go home. It is better to show up for a brief time, make your polite greetings, and then leave than to stay longer than you want, become sullen, rude, or obnoxious, and lose friends. If you are at a party in support of someone else (like your spouse’s office party), then focus your attention on being a good support for them to take your mind on your own discomfort. Remember the stanzas on perseverance.