TODAY'S JOKES!

Gender Roles!

A spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine "la casa". "Pencil" however is masculine: el lapiz.



A student asked, "What gender is computer?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the 
class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be masculine or feminine. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.



The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:


1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic.


2) The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.


3) Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and


4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.
(No chuckling ....this gets better!)



The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computer"), because:


1) In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.


2) They have a lot of data but they still can't think for themselves;


3) They are suppose to help solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and


4) As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Lost luggage

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr," the man replies.

The cop asks - "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man,

"Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out,

"I'll be damned ..... My girlfriend's gone too!!!"