Put On A Happy Face

Some days it's harder than others, but I always seem to find my smile. I think it's important in life to find out what makes you happy and reach for it. There's nothing lost in trying, for the most part, that outweighs the benefits to be gained by attaining your goals. Just the thought of a successful achievement makes me feel better about myself. 

I was at my lowest point, and let me tell you it was dark. I wasn't sure I even wanted to live. I turned myself around with the support of my family, friends, and most of all the therapists that saw to my care during this fragile and tenuous period. Without this aid, I'd never have made the recovery I did.

What was the secret to my success? Telling you won't change anything, since recovery is a personal process and has to be handled on a case by case basis. However, for the sake of being brutally honest, here goes: I learned through several sessions that I had been abused as a child, sexually molested. I had blocked the memory away from myself and it gnawed my guts out from the dark, silent exile I had given it. 

Now, I learned that the predator responsible for this heinous act was dead, having served a lengthy jail sentence for what he'd done, so I couldn't get closure by dealing with the perpetrator. I had to make peace within myself. I had to find my smile.

I'm not physically nor mentally able to hold down a job, but I have so far gotten by without leaning on disability, though I did request aid for a while. Times are rough, but thanks to the kindness and support of my parents, I have a place to stay, maintaining their health. 

It's not a system where I take resources and give nothing in return. I couldn't stand that, personally. It makes me a busy person, but does not inflame my conditions to the point of needing help. I can take breaks if and when I need them without checking with the "boss" first. I'm my own CEO, of sorts. 

Back to finding a smile: It's important to realize that you can't always obtain all of the things you dream about. Letting go of the unattainable is harder than you'd think, but it is essential in the process. It's better to focus on what you can do, rather than what you can't. 

Finding your smile is as easy as chasing down the things that make you feel happiest, most pleased, and that do not interfere with the happiness of others. Sometimes consideration for the feelings of others is important. I realize in the present political climate it is ridiculously easy to offend people, but that's not what I'm talking about. Offense is taken, not given. 

No, I'm talking about physically or emotionally scarring a person. The difference lies in the objective proof positive of physical and emotional abuse. I'm just saying don't go putting babies on spikes; It might be a funny joke (thank you, Eddie Izzard), but it makes a horrible profession. In short (too late), try not to cause physical harm or do things that will mentally scar a person. That's all. 

So what's fair game? Too much to list here, that's for sure. Paint, sing, write, play sports, lift weights, travel, learn, play. There are so many avenues toward potential happiness. Personally, I like to write, as I find it happens to calm me and help sort through the dark corners of my mind. Getting my thoughts and feelings down here really helps my Zen. You do you, and for goodness sake find a way to let go of your stress, frustrations, sorrows, and anxieties! 

Love and Peace, friends. Love and Peace.