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Phone Messages!

MsCYPRAHApr 25, 2018, 3:09:20 PM

1. I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.

  2. I can't answer the phone now because I'm over at Slobinskis's house. Me and five other guys are helping him replace a lightbulb.  

3. Hi, I'm not sane right now, but if you leave your name, number and shoe size at the sound of the tone, I'll get back to you when and if I return to my senses.

  4. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.  

5. Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?  

6. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.  

7. Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We'll get back to you if we like the color.  

8. Please leave us a message at the beep. And remember: It's not the quantity of the message that counts, it's the quality.  

9. Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail!  

10. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.