A Drunk Sergeant's Idea to Save the Damn World: A More Mercenary Approach

So with the new yet old trend of America getting involved in more crap that will most likely not benefit our country in any way shape or form, I was left wondering is there a better way. I consulted a wise man nammed Jack Daniels and we got to talking about it.

The problem with our approach these days is that we aren't paying attention to how we started this damn country. We were a bunch of pirating guerillas and we need to go back to that. Our country still has the abilities to apply for letters of marque and reprisals. Rather then deploying our armed forces into hazardous areas of the world that seem to do nothing but drain our resources, put a letter of marque on the people we don't like and let the more adventurous from our people take it on.

The ability for our country to avoid the heavy burden of war, yet still be able to take care of problems seems to be completely forgotten these days. As we scramble off to burn another $500,000 on Tomahawk missiles we could put the same money into a bounty for a group of ISIS rapscallions. The badlands of the middle east are no place for the organized militaries of civilization, they're a place for the worst of the worst... so let's put a couple of bounties up and let the worst go.