But something truly amazing happened as a result. I found myself.

I wonder what god must have had in his mind when he decided for me to be born in this part of the world. I cannot deny, I have wondered a lot.

At the end of the day, does it even matter which god you said you believed in or which spiritual practice you chose for yourself in order to find peace and hopefulness as opposed to nihilism?

I am a teacher. And I see it as me giving a sum to solve, or an essay to write to a class with a number of children with mixed abilities. And this sum, can be solved in a number of methods, just like any other problem in the world can be. Or this essay can be written in a billion different ways and be perfectly on point, as long as it follows the subject. Now, I am going to be a horrible teacher if I grade those papers with a benchmark of correctness that was set by my teachers when I was a student, with no flexibility in judgement at all. I will give them good grades as long as the answer is correct and their concept is clear. It doesn't matter to me if they solve a sum of addition by counting on their fingers, or by counting in the numberline on their rulers (I taught Maths to 1st graders). It doesn't matter if they write an essay touching the exact same points I explained in the class or if they come up with new ideas, which actually I'd rather prefer and appreciate more.

My point is, it doesn't matter which method you choose. Whichever suits you is fine by me.

Just like that, I believe the right answer in our lives in this world, and very possibly in other worlds as well, is love. The right answer lies in being authentic, genuine and true to yourself. It lies in never being hurtful to anyone or anything. It lies in spreading light and righteousness in the most inspiring ways possible, so that others might benefit from your way of life. This, I believe is the essence of the right answer to our existence.

Now whichever way you chose and the path that fits you best to achive this goal of finding the right answer is completely and utterly your choice. And no one in this world, or even outside of this world, has any right to take away this freedom from you. It is as if I am telling my students to memorize already written four essays that have a higher chance of appearing in the exam. Don't do that! Read four books on those four subjects instead. You'll be able to write a much better essay not just on those four topics but any related topic, and all by yourself.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, no one has seen god. No one has seen angels, at least when they were sober, they haven't. If god does really exist, or if he doesn't, it is not for anyone to decide but you, yourself. No one knows the answer to that more than you do. And no matter how many books you read, the existence of god is still going to be a subject that is forever controversial. At the end of the day, it's only you who needs to decide what's best for you to believe in order to find peace and righteousness.