Michigan Voters Are Stupid - DetroitOtaku Rants

Ah Michigan. A state that I often have a love-hate relationship with. One one hand I do like living in Michigan for many reasons - the Great Lakes, very easy to navigate, Detroit along with Downtown, Midtown and its historic neighborhoods, lots of cool shops, Youmacon, the legendary sports teams, natural disasters are a rarity, no danger of earthquakes or tsunamis, and surprisingly decent weather overall.

On the other hand, one of the downsides of living in Michigan is the absolutely deranged politicians that this state often votes into office. Overall, Michigan is an ancestrally Republican state - for the vast majority of its history, Michigan's political scene has been dominated by Republicans. In presidential elections, Michigan has voted for the Republican candidate 28 times compared to just 17 for the Democrats, and every Republican president except George W. Bush has carried Michigan in presidential elections at least once (Nixon did win Michigan in 1972, but lost it in 1968). Michigan has elected 28 Republican governors compared to 19 Democrats throughout its history. From 1991-2019, Republicans controlled every statewide office in Michigan more often than the Democrats did, and Michigan has had a Republican governor 20 of the last 30 years. 

However, Michigan has not always been the brightest bulb in the shed when it comes to electing politicians. There are times when this state is absolutely stupid, and by god voters in this state  are incredibly stupid. When you look at some of the crazies this state has elected it just doesn't seem real, it's as if I'm reading the script to a comedy with some of the electoral decisions that this state has made. 

U.S. Senate

While Republicans often do well in most statewide elections in Michigan, in federal elections like for the U.S. Senate, Democrats have had much more success. The last time Michigan elected a Republican U.S. senator was during the 1994 Republican Revolution when Spencer Abraham won Don Riegle's former seat. The last time a Republican won the Class 2 U.S. Senate seat in Michigan was during Nixon's 1972 landslide victory, when Robert P. Griffin defeated then-Michigan Attorney General Frank Kelley for a second term - Griffin was also the last Republican U.S. senator from Michigan to accomplish that feat.

Both seats have been occupied by Democrats since. Spencer lost to cough Debbie Stabenow cough in 2000, and Griffin lost to the abominable Carl Levin in 1978, and Levin occupied Michigan's 2nd senate seat until his retirement in 2014. 

And with the exception of 1984, Levin won re-election to that seat in LANDSLIDE victories:

Here's 1990 when he defeated future Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette:

And 1990 was the year John Engler defeated two-time incumbent James Blanchard for the governorship. What the hell is with this state and it's split-ticket nature?

1996:

To be fair I won't be too mad since it was a blue-ish year and Clinton was re-elected president. And plus he defeated a RINO from the Romney family. 

2002:

Just...what? And 2002 was a red lean year so you'd think the state wouldn't be so stupid. But, nope. They would only get stupider.

Because here's 2008:

Really? Even you, Kent County? REALLY?! I get that 2008 was the biggest blue wave year of all time, but COME ON!! God I hate this state sometimes. 

Levin's seat was taken over by Gary Peters in 2015, but good news is that the 2nd Senate seat is beginning to trend to the right, as John James narrowly lost it in 2020 (or did he? ;) ). There's a chance it could go red in 2026 but I'm not getting my hopes up. Michigan voters are stupid. They don't know any better.

Secretary of State

Going onto Secretary of State, Michigan kept arguably the worst Secretary of State in this state's history, Richard H. Austin, in office from 1971-1995. 

Now, in Michigan, the Secretary of State is basically our Department of Motor Vehicles, or DMV. From their experience, my parents told me that the Secretary of State services were absolutely terrible under Austin's tenure. Under their experience they often waited hours for new license plates, tags, or even drivers licenses. 

It wasn't until 1994 that this state finally had some sense knocked into it, when Candice Miller defeated Austin when he was up for re-election. Miller fixed up the Secretary of State services so much that wait times decreased dramatically at Secretary of State offices. She was so well-liked that she won every county in the state in 1998 (Yes, even Wayne County).

But then this state had to fuck it all up again, when they elected it's first Democrat Secretary of State in decades in 2018 when Jocelyn Benson won the seat.

Attorney General

Moving on to Attorney Generals, Michigan had a Democrat AG since the early 1950s until 2003, when Republican Mike Cox became this state's first Republican AG in half a century. And believe it or not, even Jennifer Granholm was Michigan AG from 1998-2002.

The AG seat remained Republican until the tyrannical Dana Nessel won the seat in 2018. 

This state just likes to elect stupid, doesn't it?

Governors

Now lets move onto gubernatorial races. Yes, Michigan has had a GOP governor 20 of the last 30 years, but voters in this state gave us the two worst governors this state has ever seen - Jennifer Granholm and Gretchen Whitmer. But before we get to those two incompetent wenches, lets talk history.

The last time Michigan voted out a Democrat governor after one term was in 1962, when Mitt Romney's dad, George Romney, defeated Democrat incumbent John Swainson, who was ex-governor G.Mennen "Soapy" Williams' running mate. 

And it hasn't happened since. The two Democrat governors that succeeded Swainson, James Blanchard and Jennifer Granholm, won re-election in resounding fashion.

In 1986, Michigan stupidly re-elected Blanchard by a near sweep, as every county except deep red Ottawa County voted for Blanchard.

And you want to know the shocking part? This was AFTER Michigan once again voted for Ronald Reagan by almost 20 points in 1984 in his landslide re-election victory. In fact, Reagan won Michigan by more than he won OHIO that year!!!

Why must the voters in this state always cocktease me like this? It's like watching Groundhog Day without the humor. If there's a happy ending to this story, it's that Blanchard ran for a third term in 1990 and failed, as he was upended by John Engler in arguably the biggest upset in Michigan political history. And Engler would serve three terms instead of Blanchard, winning in landslides in 1994 and 1998. God has a strange sense of humor sometimes.

And in 2006, Michigan re-elected who was considered the worst governor in America at that time, and who was considered the worst governor in Michigan history up until today, Jennifer Granholm. Jenny G was such a terrible governor that under her rule that Michigan had the highest unemployment rate for FOUR consecutive years from 2006-2010, and the highest unemployment rate of all 50 states during the Great Recession, peaking at 15%. Michigan was one of the first states to enter the Great Recession and one of the last to exit it because of her incompetence. Michigan's GDP growth was also the worst in the nation under Granholm, a fact that even left-wing Politifact agrees on. She also raised taxes higher than any other Democrat in Michigan history, another fact that even the crazy leftist cooks at Politifact don't dispute. She also pushed "green energy" on this state, which absolutely wrecked our economy and led to very little job creation. Close to ONE MILLION jobs left Michigan during Granholm's two terms as governor as well - 805,000 in total were lost from 2000-2009, a period known as Michigan's "Lost Decade", and the vast majority of those jobs faded under Granholm.

And the worst part? 

She was STILL re-elected in a landslide despite her incompetence.

I get that 2006 was an awful year for Republicans nationwide due to there being tons of backlash against Bush Jr. for Iraq and Afghanistan, but if there was any governor that was totally undeserving of a second term, it was Jennifer Granholm. 

Why? Why did this state feel it was necessary to re-elect her after all the damage she did to this state? Nobody in their right mind would have elected someone like Granholm. But Michigan was one of those states, and by god, this has to be the worst electoral decision this state has ever made. 

And there are STILL tons of idiots in this state that still defend and simp for Granholm TO THIS DAY!!! This state seriously needs a therapist.

When Minnesota, Hawaii, Connecticut, and even CALIFORNIA were electing Republican governors in 2006, you know Michigan fucked up. Bigly.

Michigan voters are STUPID. With a capital "S."

And then, just when this state felt that it wasn't feeling enough pain, they went and elected Whitmer in 2018.

It took a good 7 years for Michigan to recover from the economic woes of the Great Recession. And then Whitmer destroyed whatever was left of the economic recovery of the 2010s by ushering in COVID lockdowns, which destroyed businesses, damaged public education, ruined peoples’ livelihoods, and injured Michiganders' physical and mental health. Whitmer doesn’t abide by the same arbitrary rules she’s imposed on every resident of Michigan. She shunned masks when she’s with her fellow Democrat friends. She was caught red-handed violating her own social distancing guidelines MULTIPLE times. She ordered us not to travel, not to see our families, not to leave our homes, not to work, only to hop on a private jet to visit Florida. 

Line 5? Whitmer has taken a bad situation and only made it worse. Criminal prosecutions in the Flint Water Crisis? The governor and her fellow attorney general comrade, Dana Nessel, are messing things up there too. And don't get me started on how she screwed the pooch on the economy. And there's the fact that Whitmer now has her own Flint Water Crisis brewing in Benton Harbor.

But even though she doesn't deserve a second term, Whitmer appears to be a lock for re-election anyway.

History is not on the Republicans' side this year. The last time an incumbent governor lost re-election in Michigan was 1990. The last time an incumbent statewide politician lost re-election was 2000. Also, no incumbent statewide politician in Michigan history, Republican or Democrat, has EVER been defeated when seeking election to a second four-year term. Yes, Swainson lost to George Romney in 1962, but that was when governors in Michigan were limited to two-year terms. Yes, James Blanchard lost re-election in 1990 to John Engler, but Blanchard WON a second four-year term and was seeking a third term. William Milliken and John Engler won all three times they ran for four-year terms, and were re-elected by bigger margins than their initial wins. Same with Granholm. Snyder also won re-election in 2014, however only by 4 points. 

And the Michigan Democratic Party is resorting to a “Gray Davis Strategy” — a strategy where a political party, unleashes an endless wave of pre-primary negative ads against Republican candidates who want to defeat an unpopular incumbent Democrat governor. In 2002, the California Democratic Party paid for attack ads against the strongest GOP candidate in the Republican field, which bolstered the weakest. It worked, at least temporarily. The strongest GOP candidate fell short in the primary, and Davis won re-election. But he was then ousted in 2003 in a recall election and California replaced him with Terminator star Arnold Schwarzenegger, who ran on the GOP ticket. 

Could that scenario play out in Michigan? Unlikely.

But either way Whitmer is likely to be re-elected anyway, as Michigan voters are complete fucking morons who don't know any better. Michigan voters are the stupidest voters in the country, they're dumber than even California voters. They always re-elect politicians that should have been voted out, and rarely, if ever, do they vote in the right ones. 

Yes, 2022 is projected to be a red wave year, but Whitmer is still projected to win. The Democrats are projected to win the legislature. Trump's victory in Michigan in 2016 looks to be a flash in the pan with every coming second. 

This state is so far beyond saving. I just want the retarded and braindead voters to just get it over with already so I can get the liquor. Come on, vote those witches in! I know you want to, I know you REALLY want to because you're fucking lobotomized retards. Just do it.  

PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR FUCKING MISERY ALREADY! GET IT OVER WITH! I'M TIRED OF WAITING!

I hate this state and it's stupid voters. 

I give up. 

Maybe this state can let me down at my funeral like it has for the past 20 years...