In Defence of Christians: The Principle Nature of Community

A few days ago, I wrote about the prickle I experienced over our choice to be in an open marriage at the hands of a disapproving Christian from my past.

It was part of my journey, but a part I was prepared for because I understand the principles of community and I don't hate the community from which we've come.

I still believe that God is real, Jesus is the savior, and the Bible is the truth. I live the negative of that truth every day.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery."

Why? Because it hurts people we say we love and causes us to be people who don't keep our promises.

One man, one woman for life? Why? Because it's, principally and statistically, the best way to meet most of our needs while creating a safe and healthy environment for the raising of children. 

I don't disbelieve these things. In fact, I may well, now, know them as truth better than most because being in an open marriage is fun, but it's also hard and creates risk and chaos where there was, previously, none.

I prefer dangerous liberty to peaceful servitude.

My political journey has played on my nature.

When delving deeper into astrology, I obtained a natal chart reading. A natal chart shows the position of the various planets in the various houses at the time of your birth. It serves as a mapped diagnosis of your nature. I had a tremendous amount of planetary alignment which points to being contrary and rebellious. The natal chart nailed it. I have been that way all my life. I'm always the stirrer of the pot in any community. And, not simply for the sake of stirring, but because of the persistent pursuit of being myself. I will not be a part of what I don't agree with unless there is a good reason to go against my nature.

After telling the lover about the prickle, he asked if I regretted becoming a Christian. Without hesitation, my answer was an emphatic, "No!"

What I got from #CaptainObvious, whether it should have come from her specifically (and the specific way it came from her) or not, is what I have to get from that community in general.

And, before you jump on your antitheistic soapbox, erroneously believing you've won a defector, the same is true of any community because of the nature of having a community at all.

Community, whether religious, political, ideological, based on blood ties, interests, common goals, morals, values, culture, race, or any other thing you can think of - whatever ties groups of people together - must not accept the individual who sharply diverts from what unites the group.

So, when I face rejection from our community of faith I do not hold it against them because it is the nature of the community to cast out from the group that which is against its unity.

My non-negotiable "community", my "tribe", is my family. Outside of my family, I am currently tribeless. 

I can't hang with Christians because, even though I still believe what they believe, I've sharply diverged from the practice of that belief which, is one of the core components to Christian unity. You'd think the natural shelter for me would be community with people who are practicing what I am, but ideologically, something which seems to be a unifying factor of that community, I am often diametrically opposed.

Thankfully, people with contrary and rebellious natures also seem to come equipped with equal measures in the strength of personality to stand alone.

Right now, I prefer the freedom to embrace the exploration of dangerous liberty, but I have no hate for the peaceful life I've richly benefitted from in servitude to Christ and His people.

Am I being a debaucherous despot? Yup. But I'm not doing it because I hate that from which I come. There's no angsty rebellion against Christianity in my heart. I'm not running from something like a scared and angry child, I'm running to something like a free and capable adult. I'm doing what I'm doing because I want to not because I've been driven to.

I'm on this path because I want to embrace my individual liberty to explore what appeals to me, fully acknowledging that I also accept the consequences of that path. I have no desire to change what is good on its own merit. Christianity is good. Those who are trying to follow that path are gaining beautiful insights and benefits. But, it's a community of people brought together under beliefs and practices which unite them and, in this case, the embrace of my individual liberty puts me outside their borders.

It really is that simple.

Christians are going to respond negatively to my behavior because I was once part of them and they loved me. It's confusing and shocking and it hurts to see me depart from what united us. That same response comes from any group when an individual chooses a path outside of the group's confines. In my presence, you will not find a defector who will sit with you, bashing Christians for responding the way any community would respond simply because you don't like that community.