Welcome to the Internet

So you're new to the Internet hhmmm? 

Oh but where are my manners, I meant to say "welcome to our playground."

Consider me a helpful guide, here to aid you in becoming accustom to this strange new world you're entering. One thing you should familiarize yourself with, is weirdness. You're on the internet: "weird" is normal here.

You get use to it - but there's a trick to that: it's fine to ask "What the fuck" - but learn to ignore the impulse to actually find out. There are rules on the internet: one of them is "That which has been seen, cannot be unseen." So if you make the mistake of trying to solve the question "what the fuck" - you'll wind up seeing things which are far worse than what prompted the journey to begin with.

Remember: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question - is an answer.

Now take this picture for example. I have no earthly idea.

1, I don't know.
2, I don't want to know.

Therefore this exists - it's a thing - and it doesn't bother me because I do not allow myself to go searching for the answer as to "what the fuck".

I'm older on the net than most, I had AOL when it came on floppy diskettes and I was a contributor on rotten dot com before 4chan existed.

I even earned my "True Gamer" title way back in the day playing the original rainbow six and counter strike as a mod for half life. You see, you're not a *real* gamer until you've been trash talked through voice chat by a 13 year old asian girl at 4am in the morning. That's when you earn your gamer stripes, right there. So if I can assist a normie in joining in becoming a net denizen by providing some helpful advice: I'm more than willing to tell that person.

Useful tips such as "never turn off mature filter while searching images on the search engine bing dot com". There's no telling what you may come across. There will be things which pop up - and defy logic, reason or the perceived boundaries of decency or even sanity. Never turn off mature filter while using bing dot com to search images.

I have seen things... horrible things.... 

You see.... wondrous, fantastic and amazing things exist on the internet. Many of them spectacularly terrifying.

Things like a dancing tranvestite goblin with mismatched bikini and mismatched shoes and pink bow on it's head threatening to rape you as it glares at the camera.

Absurd and mystifying as they may be: such things exist on the internet. 

So - welcome to the internet. Mind your step and be careful what rabbit holes you go down.