Monday Jokes!

Checking the Maths

(Note left by a man on his way to work.)



My Dear Wife, 


You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54-year-old body can no longer supply. However, I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. 

Please don't be perturbed, I shall be back home before midnight.

When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband, 


I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, is also 18. As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be back until lunchtime tomorrow.

Ooops!!

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace." 



The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. 



After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... 'Congratulations on your new location!'"