Monday Jokes

Three Little Pigs

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.



A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.



She read, "...... and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

"

The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?"



One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly ......

"I think the man would have said: "Well, fu*k me! A talking pig!"



There was pandemonium for the next 10 minutes.

The Biker

A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.



On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He then stopped by the feed livestock store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.



However, struggling outside the store he now realized he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home? While he is scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who explained to him that she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"



The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at Mockingbird Lane and I would walk you home, but I can't carry this lot"



The old lady looked at his goods and suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket; Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"



After following her instructions, the biker said, "Why thank you very much," and proceeded to walk the old girl home.



On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."



The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley, you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"



The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens !"