Friday Jokes!

Useful Chinese Proverbs

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.



Man who run in front of car get tyred.



Man who run behind car get exhausted.



Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.



Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok



Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.



Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.



War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.



Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.



Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.



It take many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.



Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.



Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.



Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.



Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.



Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Some simple facts of life

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

6. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

7. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

8. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

9. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

10. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

11. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

12. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

13. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

14. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

15. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

16. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

17. Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

18. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

19. The original point and click interface was a Smith Wesson.

20. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.