DISPATCH FROM THE PARK

DISPATCH FROM THE PARK:

I made the mistake of bringing Alicia Y. with me today for shirtless power-

walking. She is my granddaughter by marriage.

She was wearing tattered, paint-covered clothing and had no shoes. It was obvious to everyone that she was homeless, and even I began second-guessing her living arrangement.

As I power-walked the nature trail, she spent her time ripping tiny trees from the side paths and replanting them in the middle of the walking trail; she built a large mound out of pine needles (again, in the center of the trail); and she found and savagely attacked a turtle.

She became enraged when a little girl complemented the color of her hair. I had to explain to the father that Alicia takes a cocktail of medications and that she's an old woman, for all intents and purposes.

In fact, I couldn't find her when I was finished. I did find a trampled palm-frond bush and followed this weird, zig-zagging path of destroyed foliage (it appeared she had tried to set at least one plant on fire, but failed) to the edge of the park where I found her pounding on some guy's front door.

She was badly shaken and confused, yelling about the "haze," Justin Bieber, and doing a "controlled burn" in his back yard. She ended up falling down in the grass, mumbling about how everything is "shrinking."

Ashley L. lives with her, she knows all about these things.

The one high note was when she went after those 8-year-olds who always make fun of me.