Fuck It, Before It Fucks You #32 (And it's a hot one, like 20 inches from the midday sun)

Hey everybody, it’s Friday night so I’m back again. I’ve had a busy week so I’m using that as an excuse to not have much to write today. I did have a little something to rant about though.

Like many of my rants, this one was sparked by a meme I saw earlier this week. It was a picture of a dude who I’m assuming was in some branch of the military holding a tiny, flag draped coffin and a sign saying “Tomb of the Unborn Soldier., and it’s my favorite “Pro Life” message ever. And the reason I like it so much is because it speaks so much truth that was probably never intended. You see, so called “Pro Life” conservatives aren’t really pro life they’re just pro birth. Once a baby is born they don’t really give a fuck about it. They’re willing to spend taxpayer money to put women in jail for having an abortion, or even execute her in some cases, but if she does what they want and has the baby they don’t want to give her shit. They don’t want to give her food stamps, or healthcare, or the resources for the child to have a decent education. Not only that, but they don’t want her to have anything that might prevent her from getting pregnant in the first place. They don’t want to help her get birth control, and the best sex education they want to give her is “Keep your legs closed whore!”, or “Abstinence only” is the official name for it i guess. Which they know doesn’t work, or at the very least should. The highest teen pregnancy rates happen in places with “abstinence only” sex education. Conservatives like to say that we have 50 laboratories we can test policies in. Well I think we have the results of this experiment. Not to mention a lot of these girls have purity rings, or promise ring as they’re sometimes called. I come from a small town. I’ve seen this shit, ok? So that experiment isn’t working either. So either these people want their kids getting pregnant, or they’re completely ignorant of human biology, because if they payed attention, even to their own bodies, they’d realized that our bodies are pretty much designed to fuck as much as we can. That’s why theres 7 and a half billion of us and that numbers getting higher every time I hit one of these keys. And that’s what they want. They want these young girls to keep pumping out new kids knowing full well they’re not going to be able to adequately support them and the kids gonna get a bullhit education that won’t get them anything but a low-paying service job, and those are all going to be replaced by robots soon enough. So naturally they’re going to grow up with a chip on their shoulder and want to kill somebody. Then they say “Hey! Can’t find a decent job? Why not join the military and kill some brown people? Errr….I mean protect our country from terrorists. Yeah that’s it. Tell you what, we’ll even set you up with a college program!” Sounds like a good deal when the only jobs in your town are at McDonald’s and Walmart and you just got your girlfriend pregnant. . I have to say, George Carlin said it best, “Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.” That really is their ideal outcome too. They don’t really want to pay to put them through college and they certainly don’t want to pay to give them the medical and psychiatric care a lot of them need after they come home from a war zone So a lot of them end up homeless, and then nobody gives a fuck about them at all anymore. Basically once they’re done killing for the corporate state, they’re just an inconvenience.

So, of course there’s pro life organizations in other countries as well. There’s even one in The Netherlands, where most people are super cool with abortion. They’re not like the ones here in America though. They don’t block the entrances to women’s clinics and try to slut shame women out of getting abortions. They just sit there and offer them actual help with food and medical care and such. Now to me, that’s what pro-life is. It’s easy to just be against abortion. All you have to do is yell at people and vote Republican. You don’t have to actually do anything worthwhile to prevent abortions. Just vote for the orange fake billionaire who says he’s against abortion when he’s probably paid for more of them than he’s had kids. Frankly, if that’s the best you can do to be “Pro life”, then I’m not the least bit impressed. If you’re not willing to put your money where your mouth is, then I humbly suggest you shut the fuck up. Go to your church and pray for women not to have abortions, then go home, kick back, watch the game and say “Fuck It!" Before it fucks you.