Have you ever...
...read a book and felt such a deep relation with the words that you could have written it?
I was reading The Tao of Pooh and there were these lines about taoism which hit me just right. The same happened while reading Team Human, and Behave. Perhaps I've reached a point where all of these books I've needed to read are appearing to give me the words I want to say.
When I worked in an ethnobotanical garden, my boss was a biology major working in the field of computer sciences. His parents wanted him to be a doctor, but it didn't feel like the right choice for him and he chose to complete only his biology degree. We had some interesting conversations but ultimately our personality differences caused us to go separate ways.
Something he said really stuck with me. I told him I was struggling with the guidelines surrounding citation in my essays. It seemed excessive, to the point of causing the entire paper to feel like someone else's dialogue that I was doing nothing more than regurgitating. He told me, think of it like this, who would you rather take credit for a mistake? He further explained that if you cite your source, than any error in your writing goes back to the author of the quote. Essentially, we are playing this blame game while attempting to present our own theories (or thesis). It still seems silly to me, but at least from this viewpoint I could logically accept the rules. Mentors are incredibly important to fostering our personal growth. I'm very thankful for my time in the garden.
In The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff explains p'u, the uncarved block. He says, "When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few other things that get in the way, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the uncarved block: life is fun." Too often, we allow the complexities of life and challenges to come between us and having fun. We apply more thought to a problem than is necessary to solve. Conflict is created through misunderstanding as all parties must step back and acknowledge the other perspectives. Neither is right or wrong, they just are, and truth stands in the middle waiting to be seen.
There was a point when I was raised in a judeo-christian home and realized that truth is truth no matter what the source. From that point forward, I began to synthesize information more openly. I was always curious about the beliefs of others, and cultural differences. Between third grade and middle school, I became a little lost on my way. With a renewed mindset, I was able to relate with my peers more closely, regardless of religious belief. Now, I hold no single religion above another and choose to respect that which rings true.
My notes while flitting between books during my reading time:
"The mind of wu wei flows like water, reflects like a mirror, and responds like an echo."
Remember to be sensitive to circumstances and listen to your own intuition.
Live as simply as a tree.
Just be, and do with consideration.
"We are capable of language, therefore we may learn from the experience of others." All that we experience is part of the greater human experience.
There is a "harmony of all being" which we all must find our place within to be in harmony.
Why was Nietzsche driven mad? Perhaps we all must fall into the depths of madness to understand how the chaos of society is creating what we now label as disordered individuals.
We must restore community, one connection at a time.
People both seek and fear connection. It takes hard work within ourselves to rebuild a broken foundation. many are faced with the failure of their caregivers to provide a secure environment to develop and mature into an adult. Adults are trapped in their trauma, unable to see beyond their black and white world.
My son's daycare provider said something like, developmentally, at ten years old, we become capable of moving beyond the world of black and white, good and bad, yes or no.
We begin to form our opinions about abstract concepts such as religion and decide right from wrong. This is the window of opportunity for community mentors and counselors to begin to reach misguided youth before it's "too late", is it ever too late to change? Some say at twelve years old, the beliefs we hold are the ones we will have into adulthood.
The greatest example we may model as adults is one of self reflection which takes accountability for how our words and actions effect others. We must, as adults, admit when we're wrong equally to how we are right. It's okay to be wrong.
Perhaps, disorder is immaturity, immaturity is dysfunctional, and dysfunction indicates which part of development an individual remains caught in, stuck in a perpetual loop of poor habits, unaware that their trauma has frozen them in the past. How do we bring awareness to immature behavior without causing distress?
As I continue to read through my book list, a single thought keeps resurfacing. Perhaps it is still too raw, and my trauma has been left unprocessed in this area, but the one refrain which screams bright red with every passing thought, it's not fair. What happened to me, the helplessness, the proverbial gun to my head as I was forced to make choices no one should have to make.
It's just not fair, and I still feel helpless.
Violence is not solely physical, but it is always surrounded by silence.