WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS DOWN BELOW!
I should've never deleted any of my blogs on here in the first place, but I didn't believe Minds would last very long, thinking it would collapse much like Parler... nor did I think there would be any platforms left to even discuss my thoughts and my books freely. Which is why I created my own websites for this series, including Flash Renegade. Unfortunately, after moving everything over, the pandemic hit the US––and like everything else, everything quickly died off.
Why do I waste my time and continue to write and post on Minds?
Well... during the six to seven month lockdown, I had gone through a Writer's Burnout. Writer's Burnout is very different than Writer's Block. I just felt physically, mentally, and emotionally drained of all life.
Grant it, I was still trying to write and edit NR3, but nothing productive ever came out of it. In fact, I stopped looking at it since 2015, after the sequel was published. NR3 was finished... but I hated it so much, I didn't want to even look at it or read it.
Instead, I worked on writing movie reviews and did some other hobbies on the side, such as painting and drawing. I have a love for art and still life paintings. But that was short-lived. Maybe I'll get back to reviewing movies and painting again... one of these days.
Besides, this is the second time I'm writing a NR post like this one. But this will be a more in-depth look and quite lengthy. I guess you can say that I love writing, and apparently starting all over from the drawing board and beginning anew seems to be a constant thing for me nowadays.
Due to the COVID-19 (Chinese Virus, Coronavirus, etc) lockdowns, I was forced to close both my author sites, since I didn't have the money to keep it running anymore. Regardless of what happens at this point, I just don't care. All I know is that censorship and cancel culture is running rampant in this nation, and eventually me (and many other Indie Authors) won't have a platform to publish and sell any works.
So, I'm letting you guys know that I will leave this blog up, until I'm officially dead... or until the Thought Police come after me and put me six feet under.
Let's see if I can survive 2021 first, since it's going to be a bleak winter.
So let's finally begin, shall we?
From Book 1: Imagine every night you wish never to fall asleep…for once you close your eyes the unthinkable horrors plague your mind, your sanity.
Zander Russell suffers from constant nightmares. He doesn’t know what is causing them and why his nightmares seem so real, resulting in cuts and bruises all over his body. Seemingly, an average student, Zander goes to a typical high school where he’s constantly bullied and teased. The nightmares occur more frequently in the day, blurring the lines between reality and mere illusions.
When Zander meets and befriends a stranger, he begins to realize how truly different he is. It’s only a matter of time before the dark demons of the past suddenly begin to reveal themselves. Armed with a pen and a notebook, Zander records what is happening to him as he tries to put back the missing pieces of the puzzle.
He must stop the nightmares before they start to take on a life of their own. Is it too late for Zander to control what he’s unleashed into the world?
From Book 2: For Zander Russell, Cougar High School is a living hell. Considered an outcast to society, he has no friends only enemies. Until... he meets a man dressed in black, named Rue Chang.
Rue has it all: wealth, happiness, and good looks.
Zander knows nothing about Rue or his intentions. Who is he? What does he want? Where does he come from? And why does he keep showing up?
Rue knows everything about Zander's life, including his family and all his secrets. He claims he can give the boy a better life. Zander is now faced with two choices: trust a stranger he barely even knows or live with his rare condition forever.
Is this a blessing in disguise? And what are the consequences if Zander accepts the terms?
From Book 3: The nightmare still continues to unravel... For Zander, it's just the beginning of something much worse.
Things are not what they appear to be, especially at Cougar High School. Zander is part of a small group, who call themselves the Fuck-Ups. He has become popular, but for all the wrong reasons. However, the ones closest to him may not be who they say they are.
Some have troubling secrets of their own, and they are quickly being manipulated by a sinister presence. Anyone who comes near Zander starts to change; even he is going through a strange metamorphosis.
It's almost like a virus.
Who or what is taking over the school? Are these bizarre events connected to Zander? And what will happen if the infection spreads across the state?
From Book 4: Will this horrible nightmare finally come to an end? They say nothing lasts forever...
Ordinary people around town now find themselves trapped in a situation they can't get out of. When some of them start to go missing, only those chosen few must carry out their own investigation and stop whatever is happening.
However, they soon realize that there is a pattern going on and something's very suspicious about Zander.
He's the missing piece of the puzzle.
It's clear that he might be the key to solving this mystery. But how and why? Will Zander bring everything to an end? If the fate of the world rests on one person, who will it be? Only one of them must pay the ultimate price for unleashing this darkness in the world.
There are a lot of characters in the Nightmarish Reality Book Series and each one has a different background. I apologize that I do not have drawings of all of them, just the main ones.
He is shy, introverted, and keeps to himself. Often hides his emotions such as anger and sorrow, which makes him bitter inside. He thinks the whole world is against him.
Hardly shows any of his emotions, stoned-faced. Very quiet personality, well mannered, and behaved. Loves to read books all day and spends hours studying art and culture. He is an intellectual person, who has the brains in the family.
Rude and cruel at times, displays childlike personality. Never takes anything serious. Always loves a good joke. Often reckless, yet regards being decent.
Controlling, manipulative, and yet calm. Can be aggressive at times, cynical, and egotistical maniac.
A little awkward sometimes, but his heart is in the right place. He's still learning the ropes and wants to be the type of person people can look up to.
She is a tough cookie and a strong fighter. She can be overly protective of victims and resourceful in certain situations. Always determined.
Considered a Popular in Cougar High, he’s the leader of his own group. He knows certain things way in advanced before other people do. Somewhat paranoid and constantly on the move, he often drifts from time to time. All the girls and women seem to flock to him.
Sin is the mysterious girl in red. She’s often accompanied by her freakish pet cat, named Simone. Not much is known about Sin and why she keeps reappearing.
He is humble, kind, and compassionate about others. Loves the outdoors and nature. Often selfless and a loyal companion to the bitter end.
Mother to Zander. Witty, smart, and outgoing. She's a hard worker and very protective of her children.
Younger sister to Zander and daughter to Caroline. Very shy and quiet-like. Loves watching TV, especially cartoons.
She's mostly a loner and doesn't have a lot of friends, except Shawn Weller. She wants to fit in with the other girls, but can't.
He doesn't really care what people think of him, but always has to fix his hair just the right way. Lives a carefree life.
A shy Hispanic kid, who doesn't like smiling and keeps his head down. Doesn't have any friends.
A bit of a bookworm and wears glasses. Is often called "Four Eyes."
A reporter and journalist. She acts snobbish at times, even bitchy.
Hard for him to focus sometimes, because he always has work on his mind. Not really a family man and enjoys being single.
I did write a blog called, Don't Be A Writer: How Exploring New Ideas and Not Sticking To Cliches Can Ruin Your Career...
But I decided to remove it and just place it down here. The only problem is that I forgot to save it.
Darn it, I should've kept it.
The habit of deleting my hard work, artwork, and stories stems from a history of self-hatred and self-destructive behavior. To make this short... becoming a writer was not allowed. Due to my strict religious upbringing, because I don't want to blame anyone in my childhood, being obsessed with drawing, writing, and film wasn't a good thing back in that time.
I did not come from a Muslim family nor did I live in Egypt or some foreign remote country in the middle of nowhere, so you can put those fears aside. I mostly grew up in the good o' USA and my family moved here for the freedom and opportunities.
Anyhoo... moving on.
Some people may think that this series is about my life story or basically an autobiography, but it's actually not and it's still fiction... and it kind of is at the same time. It's hard to describe at the moment.
The controversy surrounding Nightmarish Reality is that there are many themes and topics that I wanted to discuss. Those who've read it, either hate it or love it.
There is no in-between. I have a love and hate relationship with this series.
Since I wasn't allowed to talk about certain issues openly, I felt the need to write about them. I wasn't able to express myself, because creativity was kind of forbidden due to religion.
This was somewhat therapeutic for me, because I kept everything bottled up inside. At the time, I felt that I was writing something very important. But maybe this is just a horrible, cliché story that will probably end up in the trash bin.
I should've just stuck to writing children's stories or easy romance novels. Popular novels such as Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey made millions. If I did that, I might not be broke right about now.
Oh boy, I got distracted. Sorry about that...
So, the main character was supposed to be the same age as I was, about sixteen going on seventeen years old, and dealing with the trauma of high school.
I changed the character's age due to a family member, who read the first drafts. It shocked her and she was worried about my mental health, so I changed the main character's age to seventeen going up to eighteen as a young adult.
In fact, I had split the book into several parts, other volumes to break them down. Nightmarish Reaction is the uncensored part that she dreaded the most, which is why I'm leaving it unfiltered.
Another reason why she was disturbed was due to one of my main villains, who is evil to the very core. He's Asian and she didn't like that he was sinister in nature and also a bit of a creepy pedophile.
However, I didn't change the villain's race and left it alone... I don't believe that all white people, especially white men, are rapists and pedophiles. I'm sorry, but I didn't get that memo.
Anyway, the main villain is highly charming, intelligent, very good-looking, and has exceptional hair... but he's still fucking evil. He takes advantage of everyone: including children, teenagers, women, young men, and so on.
He's the epitome of evil and that is why I hate him so much. I love to hate him.
Someone had mentioned that I should make him out to be a sympathetic character and I was like, "FUCK NO." There are certain characters that I will never change no matter what the final outcome will be.
This series will probably be the death of me, so I might as well finish up this post. For years, I hated myself for writing this story, but in the end, I promised myself that I would finish it completely. I don't think I'll continue anything else after this.
I had thought about alternate novels, focusing on some of the other minor characters... but I got tired of it real fast. Maybe someone else will pick up where I left off. Who knows?
Here are some of the themes that will probably get me killed in the future, so be warned. If you want to skip over this part, that's fine by me. At least I'm honest about the story's premise, so you won't feel tricked or betrayed... you're not being deceived about what you're getting yourself into.
First of all, God and religion.
That's a big one for me. One of the characters is highly religious and pure-hearted. There is a clear distinction from the start that he represents light/good. Same for some of the evil characters and how they dress... one character is in black/darkness, which represents the dark side of the spectrum.
Sex and sexuality, including rape and homosexuality.
I dealt with these situations and struggled with my own morals, growing up. Feeling uncomfortable in my own body, hating myself and the way I looked, dealing with puberty, and the many changes to my body that I couldn't control.
Bullying, depression, and suicide.
Many times I thought about killing myself, so having a character who went through the same predicament made me feel a little bit better and it helped me to overcome it.
Choices and consequences.
Choices have consequences, whether good or bad. One element of character development is how did this character change? Characters are defined by their actions and behaviors, but some have hidden agendas. Yes, there are clearly villains in this story; however, some of the characters' intentions are blurred between good and evil, like the many shades of gray.
Initially, I wrote this book as an experimental piece. It began as a blog at first and then it became more lengthy and complicated. Nightmarish Reality doesn't follow a traditional style of storytelling. Sure, it does have a beginning, middle, and end... but Zander writes in his journal, so there is a lot of going back and forth through time.
Certain chapters, it doesn't feel as if things are moving forward in a particular direction... but once we reach a certain event, there's more of a drive for the main character or characters. Choices that he or she has to make.
Okay, that's enough rambling for one day.
You can find both my books on Amazon. They'll be up there forever... until they ban me from the site permanently. If you have any questions or suggestions, please let me know.
Thank you so much for reading! ^__^
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